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November 09, 2005
Random issues
I've got a ton of stuff going on - work, homework, exams, my computer, housing...everything is demanding my full attention. I don't think I get stressed out often, I have a lot going on normally, but I can handle it most of the time, I just grin and bear it. However, there are a few times, probably twice a year where I have a breakdown. Unfortunately last night was one of those times and poor Julie took the majority of my rath.
I'd been hanging on the edge for a while, with so many prelims, a group project that wasn't coming together, living without full access to a computer, and on and on. So I had called Julie and left her a note saying that I'd be back to the room late (I was going to be in the library) and that it would be great if she could leave her notes for chem out on the desk so I could copy them when I get back (when she's sleeping so she won't be missing them at all). I was really looking forward to having them and maybe actually being able to understand this chemistry. However, I get back to the room and they're not there...I had left so many notes and voice-mails that I was sure she got the message, but just didn't help me out. So I went to bed in a very bad mood because there's really no good time that I can copy her notes now and she's the only one I know in orgo that actually goes to class. OK, so in the morning she's really upset that I'm mad at her and gives the excuse that she was confused as to why I would want her notes, saying that she got back to the room at 1 when she got my voice mail and note. Also, she said that I should have gotten them earlier if I had wanted them so badly. Her final argument was that I could simply go to this random office, "sign in" and get the notes. In my defense: I went to bed a lot later than 1 (currently running on <8 hrs for the past 2 days) and if she had any questions, she could have called me because I was obviously not sleeping...and even if she did have questions, all I wanted was her to leave her chem notebook out on her desk. I admit that I should have gotten them earlier, that's totally my falt. However, I thought my request was simple and it wouldn't require her to give up any time with them. Lastly, I had class all day today, until this office closed, and it would be really nice to be able to actually study from them rather than look them over the day of the exam (it's tomorrow at 7:30 pm). So long story short - I still think I have a right to be ticked off, especially since I've done her plenty of favors and this one wasn't that big. But I appologized (in a letter, she had to leave for class) for being so angry when in reality, I will most likely live past thr. even if I get another D. I'm going to live here in the library until about 1-2 again, so I probably won't see her until after the prelim.
(Side note: I missed 2.5 lectures for various reasons, that's why I needed the notes)
I'm fine now - breakdown is over - and I'm excited that I've reached the point where I don't think about sleep anymore. This means I've got plenty of time to be very confused (i.e. study). Oh, and the stress of exams and such dosen't end on thr. I've got one on this friday, next tuesday (and a major paper due on tue), and again on friday. *Sigh* I know I need sleep, but I really need to pack in a lot of study hours.
Finally some semi-good news: my computer's HD did in fact fail, and they're going to replace it with a 60 gig (the only one in stock) for $120 plus tax (plus $70 for confirming it failed). They'll hopefully do that by tonight and I can call tomorrow morning to see if anything else needs to be fixed (they mentioned something about how the logic board may have gotten something spilled on it - i'm crossing my fingers). So I really hope I'll have that back up and running soon, which will take a lot of stress off my shoulders.
Sorry if I spelled anything wrong, or wrote horibble sentances or anything like that. I'm going off to study orgo some more...eat dinner...study...coffee..study...study...sleep :) Poor Jam is having all his stuffing squeezed out of him from all my stress...sometimes he's the only thing that keeps me sane :-P
Posted by agutwin at November 9, 2005 05:23 PM
Comments
take deep breaths... i've heard that "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". But I say "forget strength! lets just all go on holiday... - have fun - eat chocolate... no work, no pain, no responsibilities, no broken objects or broken relationships!... oh well...thank goodness for Jam...and mom and dad and sister and brother and grandparents and friends...who all love you and rooting for you.
Posted by: mom at November 9, 2005 08:11 PM
Hey, in Julie's defense, it really isn't her responsibility to give you her notes. If she can, that's great, but if you miss a class, you need to take the initiative IMMEDIATELY and get the notes before the situation turns into something like this. I don't understand why you had to miss 2.5 lectures from this one class, but if you prioritize lectures more, this won't happen in the future.
On the other hand, I know how it feels to be stressed, and I'm glad that you realize your anger towards Julie was more an explosion than anything else. Just remember that everyone in college gets just as stressed, and the most effective students find ways to cope with their stress. See ya on Sunday!
Posted by: Becca at November 9, 2005 08:12 PM