January 31, 2005
Magic Smoke
So maybe I mentioned earlier that my computer wasn't working. Well, let's start from the top. First of all, remember that while I often talk about "my computer" as if I only own one, the phrase can refer to any one of my three active computers (and several more waiting in the wings if need be) -- or it can refer to the complex arrangement created by the ensemble.
This time it referred to one in particular: trumpet.gutwin.org, which rests comfortably under my desk and provides several helpful features which I use on a regular basis. It handles my webcam - maybe you've noticed the lack of a valid webcam image on my blog for the past few days - as well as has connections to my speakers, printer, CD burner... it has way more storage than my laptop and a DVD drive to boot. Never mind that it doesn't have a monitor. It still does everything I need it to do.
Until last Friday morning, that is.
As you know, Becca was over for the week, and I had noticed earlier in the day that it was making funny noises from one of its fans. No biggie, I thought, I'd just shut it down for the night, just so that the noise isn't too disturbing while we're asleep. Well, come the next morning, I go to turn it on and nothing happens. No beeps, no clicks, not even the sound of a fan turning. At that point I couldn't do much to tinker with it because I had just gotten out of the shower and anyway, we had a full day ahead of us. I left it off, but very confused, because most of the time computers don't just refuse to do anything. Usually they at least turn a fan on or make some beeps or something. Besides, I hadn't done anything more significant to it than send it a normal shutdown command.
Finally, this afternoon, I got the chance to take it apart and look into it. It was clear to start with the power supply, since not even the PSU fan was turning, which either meant that the PSU was dead or that something in the motherboard wasn't sending the power-on signal to the PSU. (You hope it isn't the latter, since that means a mobo replacement - expensive!) Fortunately, though, I didn't get any signal from the power-on lead, meaning something in the PSU was b0rked.
After opening the PSU case (I laugh at your miserable excuse for a warranty! ha ha ha ha!) I quickly noticed the problem - a blown fuse. Now, kids, here's a helpful tip about fuses. They're designed to protect YOU in the case of a device malfunction. Don't just go replacing fuses willy-nilly! When a fuse blows, there can be one of several reasons why. First is that the device is broken in some way. In this case, replacing the fuse will only get you another dead fuse, if you're lucky... otherwise, especially if you put in a higher-rated fuse, you can get loud snapping noises and pretty blue sparks. Other reasons for blown fuses can include momentary power surges, temporary (and repairable) short circuits from another downstream device, or even premature fuse failure. So far, the only other fuse I've had to replace has been one in my guitar amp, with no obvious problems.
I banked on one of the latter problems, knowing that even if it was a problem with the PSU itself, my dad has an extra one he's willing to send me. Radio shack had a 4-pack (why don't they sell them in single shots? I'm never going to need another one of these fuses again!) for $2.49. Picked up some groceries at TJ's, and back home to replace the fuse. Snip, snap, new fuse goes in, and put the case back on the PSU just in case... don't want to be sticking your fingers in there when there's live voltage present (or even when there isn't, the caps can still store enough to getcha).
I knew that it probably wasn't a good idea to plug this thing into my computer before I gave it a good bench test, just in case something was still a miss. So I got my meter in hand, and plugged it in... and I distinctly remember thinking something was amiss for a few milliseconds before I heard a loud SNAP, saw a bright flash and a little tuft of smoke waft out of the cooling vents. Nothing happened after that, but I still hopped around a bit to make sure it was all unplugged and everything was ok.
Well, lose lose, that's that. Now I have one very dead power supply and one computer which at least awaits a new PSU, if there isn't any damage done by the old one when it died :-/ So the webcam, and my tunes, and my printer will have to wait until my dad or UPS can swing by and drop off a new power supply.
By the way, a cursory post-mortem on the dead PSU doesn't show any obvious component explosage. Something's dead, I'm sure, but I would have to take it all the way apart to figure out exactly what... something which I'm not too keen on doing. Oh well. It's not important anyway.
Posted by kgutwin at 06:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 30, 2005
Distracting Myself
I find that one of the things that I'm really good at -- or that I really enjoy, maybe I'm not so good at it -- is finding out information. Searching, collating, verifying, specific things about a subject which interests me (or interests you, if you need me to find something out for you). When Becca was trying to make it back here from Palm Beach last weekend, I was constantly online, checking weather reports, airport closures, flight cancellations, train reservations... even driving distances and directions, since they mentioned thinking of to rent a car :) I would find out a whole bunch of stuff, and send off a text message or two to keep her posted as things went along - and she told me that despite her being in the thick of things, I was far better informed, sitting here at my desk!
Even when I'm not trying to help someone, I still keep track of lots of random bits of information. I regularly read online news sites, from the techy to the traditional, occasionally even the out-of-the-way. It's just something that makes me feel good, to feel like I have some perspective on what's going on.
But today feels a little different. I haven't been able to tear myself away from the computer. It's now quarter to eleven, and I'm making a firm promise with myself to finish cleaning up and go to bed -- after probably spending about ten hours straight online.
What have I been doing? Well, honestly, it seems to mostly revolve around Jordan. Heh. Here's something which I have absolutely no control over, and yet I feel like it is imperative that I collect as much information as I can about the region, the culture, Becca's program, where she is and what she is doing... if we weren't in a relationship this would definitely be considered stalking :-D And maybe it still is! Isn't it a little unhealthy to spend so much time collecting so much information which mostly turns out to be useless? After all, my greatest ideas about what's going on there will ultimately come from her. I will treasure her stories much more than any other random tourist site out there.
I know that some of the things I found really did comfort me. I found a set of pictures of the hotel where she's staying. I found some other pictures which appeared to be of a few participants from the program that happened maybe a few semesters ago. Ummm, I found pictures of the world's tallest freestanding flagpole in Amman? Ok, that one's just weird. I tried figuring out where the hotel is located, but online maps are kinda iffy.
The last thing I found, though, was very striking. It happened while I was searching for info on her program (ciee in jordan). I found a page which had a mailing address identical to Rebecca's. It turned out to be on a website of a girl who was doing the full year program, who had started last semester and who was going to be staying through with the Spring participants. The website had pictures... lots of pictures of her travels and her program and her host family! And it had a blog, with articles going back as far as August about her experiences.
To me it was very strange indeed, because it felt like a mirage... you know, where desert travelers are searching for water and think they see it, but it's just an illusion? Here I am, thirsting for knowledge about something, anything of what she's going through... and here is someone who I can believe has already experienced all of it already! It's like looking into the future, but an illusory future, because it doesn't satisfy, it isn't the real thing, it isn't my Becca with her unique hopes and dreams and adventures. It's just some random girl whom I've never met and will never meet, and who may turn out to be everything or nothing like the girl whom I care so much about.
I'm signing off now. I probably won't be able to avoid checking this other girl's blog at least a few more times to see if she's had any experiences, anything which Becca might have been a part of. But I know my heart won't rest until I know that Becca's safe, sound and having a good time. I just have to keep it from interfering with the stuff that I have to do (like fix my computer!)
Posted by kgutwin at 10:34 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
The Fit Tend to Fidget
The New York Times > Health > The Fit Tend to Fidget, and Biology May Be Why, a Study Says
Here's something really interesting! They say that some people burn up to 350 calories per day just by fidgeting. That could translate into 30-40 lbs of weight gain per year.
I know that I'm really fidgety. I can't ever sit still. I'm always wiggling, my leg is bouncing up and down, and if I'm thinking about something I'm holding a little desk toy and always moving it around. I also feel like I can eat anything that I want and never seriously gain weight. I could probably gorge myself and gain a few pounds here and there, but overall, I seem to be doing fine. And I don't ever work out or exercise significantly.
They suggest, as a consequence of these results, that overweight people simply fidget more. I personally don't think that'll be too easy... I know that my fidgeting is nearly always subconscious, and if I had to think about it constantly I probably wouldn't do it (or would get tired of it really quick.) One really really interesting idea I saw in the article was that one of the doctors involved in the study basically put his computer over a treadmill! Walking at a speed of 0.7 mph - think 1 foot per second - you can imagine, if you can get used to it, how many calories you would burn. Come to think of it, I'm surprised there aren't more desks of this sort. The walking action, especially if it is so slow, shouldn't disturb your work.
What do you think? How fidgety and how fit do you consider yourself? Would you want a slow treadmill desk?
Posted by kgutwin at 01:34 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack
January 29, 2005
And so the adventures begin...
She's off... having left Boston at just about ten after eight this evening. I got the chance to take her to the airport, a last small meal together (sandwich and a smoothie) and smile as she went through security.
It's a very funny feeling. I'm excited for her -- I really am. But it's hard to watch her go. We're so close... we care so much about each other, are so sweet to each other...
I honestly don't know when I'll hear from her next. I'm sure she'll get in touch as soon as she can... but if it takes two weeks like it took my sister, to get in touch with anybody - well, I'll manage, but it will not be easy. Maybe she'll call me, or her mom, when she lands. Maybe she'll be able to get on the computer soon after she arrives and will send email (or post to her blog, yesss) but I'm not keeping my hopes too far up.
I miss her. I know she'll come back soon and we'll have an amazing summer. But after going from so close to so far in such a short time, well, it hurts.
Posted by kgutwin at 10:06 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack
January 25, 2005
Fresh!
Recipe: Black Beans with Rice
| Ingredients: | |
| Beans and Rice | Salsa |
1 can 15oz black beans 3 slices bacon, finely chopped 2 key limes, juiced 2 tsp pepper 2 cups rice (cooked) | 1 avocado (quarter inch diced) 1 tomato (quarter inch diced) 1/3 cup red onion, diced 2 tbsp cilantro 1 key lime, juiced 2 tsp pepper 1 tsp cayenne pepper dash of salt |
| Directions: | |
- Cook bacon until crispy, chop finely. - Add beans, cook until thickened slightly. (around 5 minutes) - Add pepper, serve over rice. | - Chop all ingredients. - Combine, chill. Serve with beans and rice. |
We tried this tonight... pretty tasty, but make sure you use 1/3 cup onion rather than the whole onion ;) We also didn't have cilantro - that would have made a big difference, although it's still tasty without it.
Posted by kgutwin at 11:25 PM | TrackBack
January 24, 2005
Only one hour late?
At least her train's not canceled. It's the only Amtrak train on this board which isn't...
I arrived at the train station early... Somewhat intentionally, just to make sure that I didn't miss her. I've got about an hour to wait at this point, but it could be one minute for all I care. I know she's going to make it.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 10:55 AM | TrackBack
January 23, 2005
Not Tonight
Becca's not coming tonight.
The blizzard which whipped through the region has shut down cities, delayed public transit and closed airports. Logan International has been closed since 5:30am this morning and is not expected to reopen until 3:00am tomorrow.
Becca's original flight was scheduled to arrive at 9:55pm tonight. That flight, and all others tonight, have been canceled. She is now scheduled to arrive around 9:00am tomorrow morning, but as of now that flight is also listed as canceled.
It remains uncertain when she will arrive. I hope she makes it here soon.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 06:55 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
Coahn Chowdah
Recipe: Corn Chowder
Prep time: 20 min. 14 servings (?)
Ingredients:
2 lbs white potatoes, medium diced
1 bay leaf
3/4 lbs onions, finely diced
3 tablespoons butter
1 green bell pepper, finely diced
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
4 celery ribs, finely diced
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoons sage
1/2 teaspoons white pepper
2 cups milk
1 lb corn, frozen or kernels from 3 ears of corn
parsley, finely chopped
Directions:
- Boil potatoes until tender in 1 quart water with bay leaf.
- Saute onions, peppers, celery and cumin in butter until onions are transparent.
- Add sage, flour and pepper to the the onion mix. With some potato water, stir to make paste.
- Add potatoes and the rest of the potato water and heat.
- Add milk and corn. Heat thoroughly.
- Garnish with parsley.
Transcribed from a recipe off the back of a box of fresh dill. (note: there is no dill in the recipe above. Hmmmmmmm.......)
Posted by kgutwin at 10:51 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 22, 2005
Political Correction
I'll start off by saying that I was referred to this article through a link from a friend, under the title of "this is why I think feminism is stupid..." I might also add that this particular friend is a woman, and one whom I highly respect.
This article describes the perspective from "the other side of the tracks", so to speak. What I mean by that is that it analyzes critically the statements made by both sides of this trial, and attempts in some way to defend the statements made by Summers. This is in contrast to many of the much more emotionally charged reports, such as walking out on his speech and the demand for apology. I appreciate very much the attempt to defuse some of the rhetoric, and once this is done, something striking appears.
First, the article brings in several scientific references highlighting the difference between the sexes. Of course, as a scientist, I appreciate and understand these arguments. Now, unfortunately for Mr. Saletan, the conclusions he draws are not to be considered as scientifically rigorous. Despite the 1% sequence difference between male and female (compared to 0.1% or less between black and white) this does not prove a presence or lack of innate ability on either side. Similarly, the differences in activity levels of various genes or gross physical differences between the brains of male vs. female does not scientifically show that ability, comprehension or even intelligence is different. Rather, what these studies represent to me is the scientific demonstration of what we already know; that is, that males are different than females.
Not even the most hard-core in-your-face feminist would disagree with the scientific fact that men tend to be physically stronger than women. We've all grown up with it -- it's the reason why men and women compete on separate but equal playing fields in sports. My sister would like to believe that she's the best rower in the world, but even she understands that I can beat her in arm wrestling despite her constant training and my constant, uh, lack of training. So why, then, is it so much harder for the concept to arise that men and women have different intellectual strengths?
Of course, we can't neglect what history has given us: a consistent and demonstrated discrimination by a male hegemony on qualified and valuable female intellectuals. The glass ceiling has existed, does exist now, and without conscious and protracted effort to reverse the trend, will continue to exist. For this I am sorry. As an American white Christian upper-middle-class intellectual male (wow, am I playing Politically Correct bingo? I must have hit the jackpot!) I value highly the contributions that women have made to my world. In my profession, not only was the best biochemistry class I ever took taught by a woman, but my future Ph.D advisor (and fulcrum of my future scientific career) could easily be a woman. I see no significant gender discrepancy in the professional work done by either my professors or my classmates. And in other aspects of my world, the list goes on and on... my sisters, my mother, my friends and my dear Becca - they all have affected me in deep, meaningful and positive ways, in ways that no other male in my life could have.
And that, right there, is what we really need to focus on. For all the hemming and hawing, what the debate really comes down to is this: What strengths and weaknesses do we have? Now, part of my philosophy is to always challenge what you percieve to be your 'weakness', because just like a weak muscle gets stronger with effort and pain, so do other aspects of your life. But, those strengths or weaknesses must be identified and embraced first. Otherwise, to use another sports analogy, without knowing how much weight you can lift before you actually lift, you'll injure yourself. What I'm trying to highlight is that gender-wise, just as individual-wise, people can have different strengths and weaknesses, in any aspect - including math and science.
For all this debate entails, we must pay mind to a few things. First, we can't sideline the contributions that women have made already. Second, we must not ever create the impression that because a young girl feels pressure to start a family instead of a career, that this is positive or constructive pressure. I firmly believe that everybody should have as much hope to make a difference in this world as possible. To deny this hope to someone by 'encouraging' or pressuring is irresponsible. Summers has at least framed his apology in these terms - apologizing for sending "an unintended signal of discouragement to talented girls and women." But was his statement truly discouraging? After all, I have not resigned myself to a life of incarceration simply by understanding the fact that males are significantly overrepresented in prison populations.
I honestly couldn't say whether this is a discouraging debate or not. After all, I do win the political correct bingo, so of course I can't understand what a true minority experiences. (Never mind that I spent four years as a member of a religious minority - being Christian at Brandeis...) I think that Summers did a brave thing, though, by being willing to state an opinion which is unpopular, politically incorrect but potentially true.
What would it gain us to be truly equal? Can we have a gender-neutral society which also recognizes that women are different from men?
Posted by kgutwin at 05:46 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Laundry, laundry...
Of course, I had to wait until the blizzard started before I decided to do my laundry... I looked outside, saw the first flakes of snow fall, and thought, "Oh, now must be a great time to do laundry!" Never mind that it was a perfectly fine day right up until 4:00 PM.
All joking aside, I'm looking forward to this blizzard, and I suppose laundry can be done in any weather. It's not like I've got to go far or anything.
Posted by kgutwin at 04:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Just a sweet thought
Thinking about her, every day.
She always tells me that she's embarassed by getting flowers in public. I tell her 'too bad, I'm going to give them to you anyway...' Of course, I never want to be predictable, but I can't help but do something sweet for her when she returns to me.
I love being the kind of boyfriend who's always sweet, always helpful, never annoyed or inconvenienced... always kind. I want to always revel in the love that's been granted to me, never taking it for granted. For me, that's the only way to truly love someone.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 03:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 21, 2005
Green States vs. Purple States
Have I gone colorblind? No, I'm just looking at a map colored in a nontraditional sense...
It's a pretty hefty PDF, so I'll describe it if you don't want to download it. This is a map of the world, published by Freedom House, who is (according to their website)
...a non-profit, nonpartisan organization, a clear voice for democracy and freedom around the world. Through a vast array of international programs and publications, Freedom House is working to advance the remarkable worldwide expansion of political and economic freedom.
The map, ostensibly, shows the distribution of Freedom around the world. Not surprisingly, North America (hey, even Mexico!) and Western Europe are colored green - the color of freedom, apparently. Non-free countries, like Haiti, Iraq (heh) and China are colored purple. They graciously allowed a yellow Partly Free category, whose esteemed members include Russia, Morocco and Jordan.
To be honest, the conclusions summarized on this map, for the most part, should not be a surprise. For example, it does not surprise me that Haiti earned the Not Free category while the Dominican Republic was Free. Neither does it surprise me terribly that they classified Jordan as a Partly Free country; while Jordan is generally considered a safe haven for Westerners in the Middle East and the rule of law generally applies, there are certain cases where political rights or civil liberties are restricted.
I'm not going to spend too much more time yammering about my conclusions from this map; I'll let you think about it. But the questions I find important when thinking about this are:
- How West- or US-centric is this evaluation?
- Would it be good for every country in the world to share our version of Freedom? Or are culture and politics so inextricably intertwined that we could not see Freedom spread throughout the globe without a wholesale homogenization of culture?
Posted by kgutwin at 07:11 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
Becca's here!
So after months and months (well, more like six weeks) of being apart, she's finally arrived... She flew in yesterday at 4:41 and we had a lovely dinner and just caught up on the times.
You may notice that I didn't post yesterday - the first day missed since I started this crazy site. It's not that nothing interesting happened yesterday - obviously, having Becca arrive is interesting enough - but sometimes I just don't have the time ;)
She's gone again, now... Off to Florida to speak to a bunch of rich Brandeis donors to convince them to give Brandeis more money. I'm only slightly sad... I know she's coming back on Sunday, and it's not like when she was here we saw each other every day.
Be forewarned, though, that beginning Sunday night the number of posts I make may go down significantly. Unless she makes me post ;)
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 12:50 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
January 19, 2005
Ramen Fiesta
Recipe: Gourmet Ramen
Ingredients:
1 package any flavor ramen
Frozen peas
1 Teriyaki flavor chicken sausage
Soy sauce
Directions:
- Cook the ramen according to directions but omit flavor packet.
- Dice chicken sausage.
- In the last minute of cooking, add frozen peas to boiling ramen.
- Drain ramen and peas. Add sausage and soy sauce quickly to prevent ramen sticking to the pot.
- Serve and enjoy.
Recipe: Indian Ramen
Ingredients:
1 package any flavor ramen
Chick peas if you got 'em, otherwise frozen peas
Chicken sausage
Butter
Curry powder
Paprika
Directions:
- Cook the ramen according to directions but omit flavor packet.
- Dice chicken sausage.
- If using frozen peas, then in the last minute of cooking, add frozen peas to boiling ramen.
- Drain ramen. Add sausage and butter quickly to prevent sticking.
- If using chick peas, add them now.
- Season with curry powder and paprika.
- Serve and enjoy.
Posted by kgutwin at 10:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Recipes!
So I've invented a new use for this blog...
I love to cook -- most of the time. Sometimes, though, I'm just tired, or worn out, or for whatever reason I don't feel like it. And sometimes, I might be enthusiastic, but I can't think of anything to make. Most of the time, the only thing I can think of making is what I've made the past few days... not very exciting or new.
Recipes are great for solving the boredom problem, but there's two problems. The first is that you need to actually get a good recipe. I have the Joy of Cooking, which is a great reference if you need to know how to make something in particular, but it's absolutely impractical for anything on a daily basis. I have a new cookbook given to me by my dad, which is pretty helpful - I've already made some things from it - but it obviously isn't the end of what I want to make. I get recipes for various things from time to time, from my grandma or my dad or just random ones that I make up... but they're usually on loose paper, which is just begging to get lost. The second problem is that once you have a recipe you want to make, you actually have to have the ingredients :) which isn't always easy because I tend not to keep my kitchen too stocked.
So one idea is to post recipes to my blog! This way, a few things get taken care of. First, I won't lose the recipes (hopefully :) Second, I can look at the recipe list anytime, from anywhere, so maybe if I get hungry during the day I can figure out what I'll want to make that night and go pick up what I need.
Feel free to comment on my recipes, give suggestions or just say that they sound gross...
Posted by kgutwin at 10:16 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Breakfast of Champions
Recipe: German Pancake
Ingredients:
6 tbsp Butter or Margarine
6 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup flour
1/4 tsp salt
Powdered Sugar
Directions:
- Preheat oven to 425F. Melt butter in 13x9x2" pan.
- Mix eggs, milk, flour and salt just enough to blend. Batter will be lumpy, do not over mix.
- Pour batter into hot butter and bake 25 minutes.
- Remove from oven, sprinkle with powdered sugar.
- Serve with jelly, marmalade or syrup.
Transcribed from a recipe from Barbara Collins
Posted by kgutwin at 10:13 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack
Fun with photography
I tried to do a little bit of stuff like this before with my film camera, but it's always really tough because you have no idea what you'll get at the end. It's better to do on a digital camera, because then you get to throw out the ten bad pictures for every good picture you get...
now, that doesn't mean that this picture is any good - I certainly didn't take ten before I saved this one. It's just a proof of concept, so to speak. But still, I hope you like it :)
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 02:30 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 18, 2005
Recipe of the Day
Pepperoni Tortellini Salad
Ingredients:
Dried tortellini
Pepperoni stick
Grape Tomatoes
Frozen corn
Olive oil
Miracle Whip
Salt, pepper, cayenne pepper
Parmesan cheese
Directions:
- Add 1 tbsp salt to 2 quarts water and bring to a boil.
- Cut grape tomatoes to make little rings. Dice pepperoni.
- Add tortellini and boil for around 8 minutes.
- In the last minute of tortellini cooking, add frozen corn and return to a boil.
- Drain pasta and add olive oil.
- Mix pasta and corn with tomatoes, pepperoni and Miracle Whip.
- Dust with salt and pepper. Add cayenne pepper to taste.
- Serve topped with parmesan cheese.
Posted by kgutwin at 07:10 PM | TrackBack
The Grump Train
I guess I'm riding the Grump train this morning... I'm in the front car and the corpulent train driver is yelling at everyone who just shows their monthly pass but doesn't swipe it. You're supposed to swipe the pass, but if you just show it the guy is supposed to push a button on his fare collector to say that you're okay. But he yells at everybody... Even the kid whose Student pass doesn't have a stripe!
Meanwhile, the lady driving the car behind continues to make announcements emphasizing that the fare is a dollar fifty, and that the value of a token is a dollar twenty-five and if you're paying with a token you need an additional twenty-five cents. I see or hear her all the time on this route... She must be tired of stupid people by now.
I wonder how I'd behave in those kind of situations?
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 09:45 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 17, 2005
A bright future?
A long time ago - probably at the point where I was deciding what grad school to attend - I had a simple, yet timely thought:
"The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!"
Kinda catchy... anyway, it was a time in my life where I was worry-free and enjoying every moment of it. I was mere months away from graduating Brandeis, I had my pick of the top graduate schools, and I was having the time of my life with my lovely girlfriend :)
Now, it's hard to keep that same mentality. I'm anxious about my car (why? because I just spent $500 on what is to me a personal luxury and which might not have even solved the problem...), I can't seem to stop thinking about all the unknowns about next semester, both with Becca gone and my upcoming rotations, and on top of this there's things which I know ought to get done but I can't seem to get myself to do them. Instead I spend hours at my computer scratching through news site after news site, just in a hope to be entertained and to drown my worries away.
I guess it's time for me to be a real adult, and take responsibility for my future. Right now, I'm feeling a desire to just hide under a rock until the scary things go past. But the truth is that the scary things never will go away, or if they do they are only replaced by other scary things. And I can't hope that some person will come along and save the day. I guess it'll just have to be me to get it done.
But right now, I'm not strong enough.
Posted by kgutwin at 09:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Is it fixed?
Oh man, I hope so, $536.81 later...
I got up bright and early this morning and called the garage. The guy sounded friendly and was willing to take a look at it today, so I drove it over, apprehensive the whole time about my touchy brakes. It wasn't a tough place to find, and I left it, talked to the guy about the situation, and he said he'd spend some time on it. I managed to get back by taking a bus to Coolidge Corner, where the Trader Joe's is. I bought a few groceries that I've been needing for a little while, and headed home... relaxed that finally someone was going to look at it and it was going to get taken care of.
After a while of sitting around at home, I got a call from the guy saying that he found the problem... and it needed a new master cylinder and a new brake pressure regulator. I had no idea that brakes even had a pressure regulator :) but despite the $500 cost, I decided to have it done. After all, without brakes, this car's pretty worthless to me. I also mentioned to him my little alternator problem, and he said that he'd take the alternator out for me, and put in the new one if I could get this one returned! He was definitely helpful and accommodating.
I got a call from him a little while later saying that he got the alternator out and I could come by to get it. This time I took the B line and walked... not too far of a walk but a little confusing. Got the alternator and then had to walk a bit more to pick up the 70 bus which would take me to Waltham. No problems there... got to Waltham, and walked a bit more to the parts store. I found the guy who said he'd do the exchange, and while he admonished me for losing my original purchase invoice, he gave me the new one. Success! I treated myself to a bit of pizza for lunch at the restaurant across the street. Then it was a walk back to the bus stop, another bus ride back to Allston, and more walking back to the garage. Might I mention that this alternator is 15-20 lbs? My arms are still tired!
When I got back to the garage they had finished with most of their brake work and I decided to just wait for them to finish with the alternator so that I could drive the car home. I read the Boston Globe, watched them put my car up and down... finally it was done. I paid and left, so very excited that it was finally fixed! No more worrying about brake troubles.
And the car braked like a dream. For a little while. Then I started to get a little nervous again. Now, I can't prove anything yet... and maybe it's just things getting settled or me being overly sensitive. But I thought I felt the pedal descend again at a stoplight, just a touch.
We'll see. For now, I'll treat it as if it's fixed, and hope that I don't have to bring it back in. I'm pretty sure that at this point, there's really no more super-expensive parts to replace, so I can't imagine spending even MORE money...
By the way, the work on the alternator only cost $37. So at least there's something to smile about there.
Posted by kgutwin at 04:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 16, 2005
Today's Culinary Experiment
Recipe: Chicken Stuffed Potatoes
Ingredients:
1 large russet potato, unpeeled
2 small chicken breast tenderloins
Trader Joe's Santa Fe Sauce
salt
cheddar cheese
Directions:
- Slice the potato lengthwise to create two equal halves. Using a teaspoon, hollow out each half.
- Defrost the chicken, dice and mix with Santa Fe sauce.
- Spoon chicken mix into potato hollows. Mix leftover chicken with potato innards.
- Place potatoes in glass baking dish along with potato innard mix. Sprinkle with salt.
- Bake at 375F for 30-35 minutes or until potatoes are soft and chicken is cooked through.
- Sprinkle with cheddar cheese. Enjoy.
Will it work? I'll know in 3... 2... 1...
Posted by kgutwin at 07:19 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
January 15, 2005
Bush's Legacy?
Scotsman.com News - International - Bush looks to history books with slaughter of sacred cows
Ok, so maybe I should have made a promise to myself before I started this blog mania to avoid political topics. This weblog is not in the "Blogosphere", nor will it expound or pontificate or complain like so many other politically-oriented (and as we saw in the last election, completely ineffective) blogs. So don't take this the wrong way - I'm not falling into such a trap. Rather, I like to take a much more hands-off approach to the political scene. I want to know what and why people think much more than I would like to tell them what I think. I'll tell you what I think if you really want me to, but unless you're really convincing (aka "an offer I can't refuse") I won't go knocking on doors.
So I'm reading this article, and it seems to echo what I've seen before. President Bush seems to have a somewhat megalomaniacal thread to him. I say this because he seems to be determined to make an impact on the world, to be 'known for something great'. I imagine that in his mind, nothing could be better than for his name to go down in history along with the other 'great' presidents. His plans for sweeping reforms in immigration, social security, tort reform and the tax code are recognized by everybody as ambitious; of course, the pundits say too ambitious.
Is there anything wrong with a little megalomania in our presidents? After all, much the same could potentially be said about Kerry, Dean, Clinton, Bush... to varying degrees, of course. After all, in order to have the passion and drive to seek after the highest public office in the land, you've got to have concrete and ambitious goals. Nobody would elect someone who runs on the platform of 'four more years of the same.' Or is that true? I think I remember reading about some president in the 20th century who had such a platform... Anyway, I think the difference comes in recognizing one's own strengths and weaknesses. Megalomania (in my understanding, at least) is characterized not so much as a drive to be successful, but rather as a lack of perspective towards one's peers. The megalomaniac has no peers; he is unmatched, in history or in the present. This lack of perspective, of course, would tend to make one ineffective in the grand scheme -- both through ignoring and therefore repeating the mistakes made in history, and also through alienation of one's peers.
How much, therefore, does Bush fit this picture? We've already seen both aspects of such a loss of perspective. By assuming that, under similar circumstances, Bush could lead the Iraq war much better than the Vietnam war, we've become mired in a conflict we will never successfully complete. Also, by ignoring the recommendations of his world peers, Bush has alienated himself - and us by proxy - from the world community. Do these observations mean Bush is a certifiable megalomaniac? Well, my musings have neither proven necessity nor sufficiency with respect to the above observations. So we can only guess, and consider it supporting evidence.
Now that Bush has gained a second term, though, he seems to be pointing his focus much more towards domestic issues. Most pundits have agreed that Bush realizes his legacy, if it were to end now, would consist solely of terrorism and war; while those subjects may be dreamy for a Texas Cowboy, they're not what makes a president Great. Therefore, most agree that we'll see drastic changes in domestic issues, concomitant with the gains the Republicans have made in the Legislature. While Bush's first term seems to only have excited the Neocons and people with more guns than brains, his second term is making nearly every Republican excited. Here, finally, the chance to get something done!
So the last question is, will the reforms that do get done be a blessing or a curse to the nation? I don't know. Given that these are contentious issues, I get the sense that if I were to express an opinion on such matters, I would guarantee 50% of my blog readers would disagree with me. And since don't we all just want to get along, I'll leave the mudfestdiscussion to the comments :) Whatever the effect on the nation, however, I'm sure it'll be done with gusto and passion. Even if it is running headfirst into a brick wall.
Posted by kgutwin at 10:28 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack
Alternator story, continued
So today was going to be the big day...
Did I mention I went to the hardware store the other day and bought a set of hex keys? I figured that I might be able to do it with the keys, as long as the bolt turned reasonably well. Well, anyway, this morning I woke up bright and early and headed out to do the job. Before I left I checked on a few things - including finding the location of a Home Depot in Waltham which might have the hex bits I was looking for. My plan was to go out to my car and test the hex keys I got to see if I could get it to turn. If I could turn it, I would tighten it back up, drive to Brandeis and do the work. If I couldn't, then I would see if I could buy that set of hex bits at Home Depot.
Surprise surprise, the hex key didn't work. I even tried grabbing it with pliers, but it was too tough. So it was off to Home Depot for me... driving through traffic with treacherous brakes. After a somewhat harrowing drive that included the have-to-stop-at-every-light phenomenon in Waltham, I made it to Home Depot. And they did have the hex bits! For cheaper than I would have gotten them at Sears. Now it was back to Brandeis to see if I could get it done.
You're waiting in suspense, right? Well.... it didn't work. I ended up stripping the inside part of the bolt. Those hex socket bolts are the easiest things to strip, and this bolt would much rather have its whole inside chewed up than turn. I tried everything I could, but since I don't have the right resources at my disposal, it was pretty clear that this was a job for a professional.
So now I've got to take it to the garage. I have to do so anyway, to get this brake thing fixed (by the way, it's awfully tough to parallel park on a busy street with the handbrake...) But one thing's for sure - the next trip this car makes is to the garage.
By the way, I'm going to try taking it to Boston Automotive - they specialize in VW and Audi and seem to be a nice shop.
Posted by kgutwin at 12:01 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
The cutest stuffed animals in the world!
Roy and Khalled :) Roy is the white tiger, and Khalled, as you may know, is the camel.
Some photos are just worth sharing, without too much of a caption...
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 01:05 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
January 14, 2005
A useful abstraction
Today, at the CSBi conference, I heard David Searls give a talk relating biology to lingustics and engineered circuits. I have to say that it was one of the most interesting talks that I've ever heard. He basically spent a long time going over how biological problems can be related to linguistical problems, and described how lingustics has put forward some answers to their problem.
Essentially he made an analogy between linguistic analysis and hierarchies in biology. In linguistic analysis, there are four levels - Lexical (words), Syntactical (grammar), Semantic (meaning) and Pragmatic (context). You can see that this list is arranged in order of complexity. His analogy to biology was to place protein domains at the Lexical level, proteins themselves at the Syntactical level, protein function at the Semantic level - and a new concept, the role of a protein, at the Pragmatic level.
There's an interesting problem in linguistics called ambiguity. I'm sure you can come up with a whole bunch of sentances pretty quick where a particular word could have a variable meaning. He didn't go into the biological analogy of ambiguity too much, but it seems apropos; after all, one protein may have different substrates, and depending on context it may be regulated by different factors. This also plays significantly into the idea of contextuality - an important concept in deciphering linguistic ambiguity.
It's a shame that much of his talk has slipped my mind at this point. He works for GlaxoSmithKline and this isn't his official research, so I don't think there's any paper out there to read on this subject. There was more on the use of metaphors - both linguistic and technical - but I can't seem to recall it now.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 09:45 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
January 13, 2005
Sleepy Doc...
CNN.com - Study: Sleepy docs a liability for hospitals - Jan 13, 2005
I actually got to read this story - Matthew gets the New England Journal of Medicine and I glanced through the issue before he got home.
It's kind of scary - they basically show that the chances of a hospital intern who has just gotten off an extended shift having an automobile accident is roughly comparable to the odds of a legally drunk driver having a similar accident. This is a two-fold increase from interns who have just completed a normal shift.
Apparently (I'm not in medical school, so this should be confirmed) the whole business of having extended shifts is a holdover from the days when doctors lived as residents at a hospital (ahh, so that's where the term 'residency' comes from!) so that they could observe patients on a consistant basis. But 60 years ago, I could imagine that the thought of staying awake for 30+ hours would have been preposterous to those doctors. Why do we put our doctors through this obviously detrimental process? Is it simply a cost-cutting measure? I've heard other things, too, like the fact that doctors (who have themselves endured such brutality) feel that they made it through, and therefore the young upstarts ought to as well. Unfortunately, it's those same old-boy doctors who make the policies.
I'm glad I'm not a medical student. What foolishness. And you can guarantee that if I, for some bizarre reason, was actually a med student, I would not put up with this kind of stuff. Losing sleep is not foreign to me (see last night for example) but it's always done in a reasonable manner -- and I don't have the lives of vulnerable patients in my hands.
Posted by kgutwin at 09:51 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Song of the day
Arrival of the Guests - Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev
Pay attention to Juliet's theme... does it grab you like it grabs me? I can't think of a more beautiful and lovely theme.
Posted by kgutwin at 09:30 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
A bunch of little things
- Nine out of ten graduate students agree: Staying up until 3am, then waking up at 7:10 to sit through hours upon hours of talks is ill-advised. The trouble is that this stuff is more or less what I'm interested in, so it's tough to sleep during the talks without waking up and trying to think about what they're talking about. At this point, I'm desperately searching for precious nap time.
- Just now, I learned that Republicans have less risk of heart attack because their arterial collagen is stabilized against degradation due to their cold hearts. Quote from Peter Sorger: "Coffee break becomes this conference's Fallujah"
- A while back, Becca told me how awful and girly it was to spend time reading the Pottery Barn catalog and dreaming about the crazy furniture. Well, I just observed how this is not just a girly phenomenon... The graduate student sitting next to me (who is male, and seems somewhat opinionated) has just spent a half hour going through online Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, and IKEA catalogs, along with craigslist postings, looking for dressers and other furniture. Personally, I have no problem looking over fun furniture, but I would much rather do it with my sweetheart...
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 11:30 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
January 12, 2005
"Experts in the Field"
I had a strange thought today, during one of my IAP lectures.
The professor was talking about his advising philosophy. Now, as an aside, I should say that the way we have organized these lectures is that a given professor comes, gives a roughly 45 minute speech, and then questions are asked. We have written a list of "generic" questions on the board -- questions we ask everybody, things like "How many students are you taking?" and "Average time to degree?" But the most interesting question, I find, is the last one - "What is your advising philosophy?" The professors love that one, because after a bunch of dry, rote questions about their lab, they get the chance to expound on their teaching philosophy. Remember that professors, deep down inside, just want to instill wisdom, and love to take any chance to explain how that process is done.
Anyway, this particular guy was yammering on about how he wants to train students to be experts in their field, so that they can really have a base of knowledge that sets them apart and makes them influential. But I got to thinking... what does it really mean if you say you're an Expert? I realized that at some point, I may acquire some knowledge, either by synthesis or discovery, that very few people in the world currently appreciate or share.
Now, maybe that doesn't seem very significant to you. But it hit me pretty hard -- here, before me, was the chance to be incredibly unique. Think about it - "very few people in the world" - that means in the World world! See, maybe it's just my subconscious talking, but I always feel like my individuality isn't really that individual. There's got to be someone else out there who has most of my same interests, or thinks somewhat like I do, or something like that. I mean, I tend to think that my love of winter and snow is 'unique', but there's got to be bunches of folks out there who appreciate it just like I do.
I got to thinking that science is really the most straightforward track to becoming truly unique. Research institutions like mine do it on a daily basis. If I am persistent enough, sly, tricksy and brilliant enough, I'll get to that same point myself. Having paper after paper with your name on it, having your own lab or your own foundation, even having a Nobel prize isn't really that unique. After all, there's hundreds of folks out there with Nobel prizes. To be the expert on a particular subject, though - that's something.
Posted by kgutwin at 11:02 PM | Comments (95) | TrackBack
Alternator update
I went to Sears this morning to buy a Hex bit set - I need them to loosen a mounting bolt. Bruce has a set, and we used his when we did it the last time... However, they don't have any in stock at Sears. They may get some in a shipment on Friday. Who knows. The problem is that if I can't get those tools by Saturday, I can't do the work this Saturday...
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 01:05 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
January 11, 2005
Trader Joe's
Trader Joe's is the best grocery store ever. Good, cheap food that doesn't make you feel like you're selling your soul to some Altria conglomerate. They should have one in Vermont - those Burlingtonians would eat it up (literally). This one's pretty convenient for me - right on the C line as I head home.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 07:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Good news, bad news...
Ok, ready? What do you want first? Too bad, I'll give you the good news first anyway.
The good news is that it seems like I can get my alternator replaced, under warranty. I called them today and they said that if I bring in the old one, they'll take care of it. I really hope so, too, because I'm pretty sure it was more than $150.
The bad news is that now I have to figure out how to get it out, get it over to the parts store, and put in the new one. Did I mention the store is in Waltham? Plus I don't have any kind of garage where I can work knowing I won't be bothered or where I could work under any weather. My guess is that I couldn't really do this on the side of the street where I currently park. The other thing is that I really don't have time at my luxury to get it all done.
So here's my plan - it's kinda iffy but so far it's my only hope to getting this done. Saturday I will drive over to Waltham and park in the office parking lot. I'll try to get the old one out, then walk it over to the parts store. Then, hopefully the exchange will go straightforward and I can walk back to my car and put the new one in. I'll have to do this all by myself. And if anything goes wrong - the weather's crummy, something breaks while it's coming out or going back in, or someone decides that me doing car repair work in a random office building parking lot isn't cool - I'm pretty stuck. However, short of taking the car to a garage and having them do it for $200-300, it's my only option.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 03:05 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
364.4 + an ear
Whoever had the idea of marking the Harvard bridge with Smoots was, I believe, a genius of the highest caliber. It's so incredibly useful to know exactly how far you are along that endless bridge. It's easy to remember how many smoots there are - it's simply the number of days in a year. Plus, since they marked the halfway point, you know at which point there's no turning back. And, there's no better way to start your day at MIT off right than with a few numbers.
Mr. Smoot, I salute you.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 11:00 AM | Comments (57) | TrackBack
Thought of the Day
Here's something you may never have thought of before...
Have you ever noticed how you get into a nearly immutable routine (I suppose like so many other things) with brushing your teeth? Think about it - you've been brushing your teeth every day for most of your life, and if you're anything like me, you've probably done it just about the same way each time. I know I always start on my bottom teeth, outside right side, go around to the left side, do the tops of my bottom teeth, then inside right side and around, then up to my upper left side outside, around and to the bottoms of my upper teeth, then finally around the inside, left to right. You probably have a different routine, but you probably could recite it nearly as easily as I just have.
Today, for some unknown reason, I started in a weird place - I started on my top teeth. It almost felt like I had completely forgotten how to brush my teeth, and I had to force myself to remember to brush my bottom teeth because I was paranoid that I would forget. I pulled it through okay, but I realized that I think it was the first time I've brushed my teeth a different way.
We really are creatures of habit. It's so bizarre.
Posted by kgutwin at 01:47 AM | Comments (35) | TrackBack
January 10, 2005
Vacation Ideas
Traveling on your stomach - Jan. 10, 2005
Mmmmmmmmm.... I couldn't think of a better idea for an arranged tour. Of course, if I'm visiting such exotic locations, I'd probably also love to get away from food for a little while and still see the areas... but I'm sure I could manage.
Oh yeah - how about not until I'm rich. It's a bit, uh, pricy.
Posted by kgutwin at 09:32 PM | Comments (97) | TrackBack
The challenge has been met
My journey was fraught with peril, difficulty and tragedy... but I perservered, and I overcame. To the victor go the spoils :)
Posted by kgutwin at 07:14 PM | Comments (77) | TrackBack
The MBTA
Riding the subway in Boston is always a new and interesting experience. You never meet the same characters twice. It's so multicultural, multi-socioeconomic... I'm always hearing a non-english language spoken -- Japanese or Spanish or Creole or some other language that I can't understand. You have old sitting near young, rich sitting near poor, and bright sitting near dim.
In the mornings, with the business commuters, nearly everybody is wearing business apparel, reading a book or newspaper and the car is totally silent. In the afternoon, you see couples, old folks, and other people just heading from one point to another. In the evenings, you get the partygoers and college kids - especially on the B line.
I love to be able to sit and listen to people's conversations, or read a few snips and phrases of their books, or watch their interactions with each other. If you're into people-watching, there's no better place.
I have to say, though, along with the diversity in people comes the diversity of body odors. I have never experienced such a, uh, bouquet of fragrances than I have on the T :)
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 06:22 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
Today's special talk
I had the opportunity today to attend a talk given by someone from Stanford on the subject of the dynamics of protein synthesis. It was pretty interesting - they were able to do FRET on single ribosome particles and watch a molecule step through a complex process. It does seem to be a bit limited to vectorial processes - if equilibria are involved it gets a whole lot more complicated.
There's so much science here - it's crazy! Sitting through six talks a day on subjects as diverse as computational biology to worm genetics, it really blows my mind. I'm glad that we get breaks where I don't have to concentrate super hard on a subject that I understand very little about.
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 04:00 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
January 09, 2005
Cute Khalled
I'm taking care of him while Becca's home in Minnesota. She might take him with her to Jordan, though. I hope she does - he's a camel, so he obviously belongs in the sandy desert having adventures, not cooped up in a stuffy Boston apartment...
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 08:21 PM | Comments (65) | TrackBack
Sushi erasers!
Anna got me these for Christmas. I have to admit, they're pretty cool. I wouldn't try eating them, though, they probably taste pretty rubbery (ba dum bum ching...)
Sent from: Karl Gutwin
Posted by kgutwin at 07:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Why the name?
What's in a name?
I think that choosing blog names is a pretty strange situation. Some people are pretty bland about their names - utilitarian, straightforward, no guessing as to where or why. Other people have a lot more fun with their blog name, sometimes to the point where one wonders exactly what plane of consciousness that person was riding when they made their selection. (Well, yes, I suppose I was somewhat responsible for that name. I still like it, even though most people find it strange :) Still others choose hip, classy names, and others name theirs after their pet chihuahua...
When I was thinking of a name, I wanted something which was unique to myself. I didn't feel like "Karl's Blog" really cut it. I finally settled on Snow and Sky because to me, it epitomizes my favorite environment -- a field of fresh fallen snow on a cool winter's day, with a wide open sky above and a few puffy clouds. I don't know too many other people who think in those ways. Most tend to complain about the chill, or the gray, or the yuck. I always see those nasty things as stepping stones to what I really enjoy - the peacefulness of winter.
Once I settled on a name, the design of the site was easy. The background is made up of pictures of real snowflakes, originally taken by W.A. "Snowflake" Bentley and published in 1931. My dear Becca gave me a book of over 2000, and yes, so far I have not found two identical. (Although I did happen to select two very similar ones when I was taking pictures of the book - that surprised me!) The header bar is based closely on a photograph of an oil painting made by my grandmother, Leona Gutwin, depicting a scene just as I described above. I'm so very glad that I have these wonderful gifts, because I treasure them when I can't treasure Nature itself.
Posted by kgutwin at 06:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
This is fun!
So yes, I finally knuckled under.
Why? Because I saw how creative other people were with their little spots on the web, and I figured that it would be fun for me to be creative too.
I honestly harbor no illusion that anybody else out there cares about this. Now, if you're reading, you're at least interested to see what I've got to say... and so I hope I can be a little interesting to you. But don't expect your traditional blog fare here. I'll probably post about whatever random stuff is on my mind at the moment. It could be the sushi erasers I got for Christmas, or some sciencey stuff I learned at school, or crazy things I find online.
I hope you enjoy. I hope I enjoy, too - otherwise it'll sit around, just like millions of other neglected blogs out there. Feel free to bug me if I don't post. I'm always thinking about something but don't always think it out loud.
Posted by kgutwin at 06:11 PM | Comments (110) | TrackBack