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February 01, 2005

Special Report: Iraq Insurgents Moving to Take Toy Soldiers Hostage

CNN.com - So-called U.S. hostage appears to be toy - Feb 1, 2005

FALLUJAH, Iraq (AP) -- Reports are now surfacing that the organized insurgency operating in certain portions of Iraq have shifted from taking real soldiers hostage to taking toy soldiers hostage.

"I heard a lot of yelling, and what sounded like firecrackers," said Ahmed Billah, owner and manager of Toys R' Us in downtown Fallujah. "Then a bunch of guys wearing camoflage and black face masks burst in, and ran to the action figures section. They were waving what appeared to be guns, but I could still see the orange plugs in the muzzle meaning they were toy guns. They grabbed all of the Army action figures they could hold... GI Joe, Marine Mike, and Special Ops Cody. They were dropping boxes as they ran out. They set off the anti-shoplifting alarm but nobody moved. I guess they all thought they were crazy or something."

Sources close to the insurgency movement report that the price for taking real soldiers hostage is becoming too high, and the danger posed by real rifles as opposed to cap guns is enough to scare off most insurgents now. Additionally, some of the insurgents' mothers have been noticing bruises and lost limbs, leading to grounding of the the insurgents without telephone privileges.

Fallujah police responded immediately to the scene of the hostage taking, but were left without leads until an anonymous tip lead them to the website of the Al Mujahedeen Brigade, a notorious band with links to several RC-car bombing attacks, wedgie raids and toy-beheadings. There they found a picture of one Special Ops Cody doll named John Adams positioned against a black banner reading "God is great, there is no God but Allah," with Adams' own rifle pointed at his head.

US military personnel have refused comment so far, but AP military analyists report that while it appears Adams is in grave danger, it is unlikely that the response from US special forces will be significant.

"It's a doll, for crying out loud! Why would anyone do a raid on a twelve-year-old's house to rescue a doll?" said a prominent military analyist who refused to be named.

Posted by kgutwin at February 1, 2005 09:11 PM

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