Snow and Sky

May 25, 2005

Those durned creatures

Way back in the mists of time, many moons ago, I mentioned we had a little mouse problem. The little mouse problem turned into a bigger mouse problem and first live traps, then deadly traps, then poison, then the exterminator were all called in to address the issue. Ultimately, after the exterminator pumped a bunch of black foam into the nooks and crannies of our apartment, we considered the War on Mouse over and packed up.

Well, the Mouse Menace has returned (I really shouldn't say menace, they are so very cute except when they are chewing inside the walls) and so the exterminator may have to return. But through all this I was a conscientious objector, so to speak, because despite the first sighting being in my room, I had neither heard nor seen them anywhere except occasionally in the kitchen.

No longer. Those little scurriers have penetrated my room's defenses and have been spotted running free, as well as waking me up at 4am with their incessant chewing. I first noticed it last morning, right after I dropped Matthew off at the airport (he leaves, and they decide his room isn't good enough for them any more, so they have to invade mine!) I thought it might be a fluke, though, because maybe I left my door open and one happened to come in. I didn't think they were actually getting into my room directly.

This morning, however, I was awoken (at the aformentioned ungodly hour) and could distinctly hear chewing coming from the vicinity of my radiator pipe. Eventually (at what time I could not say, the morning was quite a blur) I got a Brillo pad from the kitchen and jammed it into the space between the pipe and the floor. They can't chew through steel wool, and so this is supposed to keep them out real well. Apparently though my steel wool trick only managed to block the little bugger's exit route and so I spent the next hour and a half being spooked by the guy running all around my room.

Chatting with Becca this morning revealed her family's secret: Dryer sheets. The mice hate dryer sheets, apparently. Makes sense -- they throw all sorts of nasty chemicals in those things that are ok for humans to breathe but are nearly toxic to little beasties. She suggested I buy a few and throw them around.

I went to CVS after lab today and grabbed some CVS brand sheets (hey, they were cheaper). Good thing, too, cause when I got back to my room I found my Brillo pad all over the floor! Those cunning creatures managed to push it out of the way... despite it being filled with powerful, grease-cutting soap. I immediately took a dryer sheet, pulled it apart and jammed it deep into the hole, followed by the tattered remnants of the Brillo pad. I also cut another sheet to fit around the pipe and sit on top. Plus, I'm leaving the whole box nearby just in case they didn't get the message.

No signs yet but they usually don't appear until the early morning. Come 4am tomorrow, the battle continues. If this tactic does not succeed, however, I have another option. At CVS they also had glue traps - sheets of glue that the mice step in and then can't get out. I bought some, although I would prefer not to use them. At least with the glue traps I have a dim hope that I could somehow figure out how to free the mouse (outside, of course!) and they would actually work, as opposed to those quaint little live traps that they avoid.

Ultimately, though, I think the exterminator will have to come by, and shove more of that black foam in to plug up this little mouse hole. But despite my affection for the creatures, I will not tolerate any sort of scurrying or chewing activity. The mice must go.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:21 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 15, 2005

"This is going to be a killer story!"

Now, I'm not suggesting that this phrase was ever uttered in the boardrooms of Newsweek magazine. But I find it interesting, how sometimes our news media wields unexpected power.

Most Westerners have no real conception as to why Muslims venerate their holy book so much. Christianity doesn't explicitly teach respect for the physical copy of the scriptures, and our society is such that if a similar report alleged desecration of the Bible, most people would simply cluck their tongues and move on.

I could rattle on about how our sensationalist media stops at nothing to get a story out there, how there are no longer standards of editorial decency, yadda yadda yadda but I honestly don't think that's the problem in this case. I think simply that here the editors saw it as a standard case of exposing government mishandling, completely appropriate to print in such a rag as Newsweek, and that nobody foresaw the death and destruction that would result.

My heart goes out to the reporter here. Aside from being frustrated, since he is probably taking most of the heat for this, he has to think that had he not published this story, at least twelve people would still be alive today. It's hard to imagine he saw the publication of this story as having the life or death consequences it had.

If you can withstand the irony of the situation, you can read Newsweek's own take on the situation here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7857407/site/newsweek/

Posted by kgutwin at 03:46 PM | Comments (49) | TrackBack

May 13, 2005

This is why I go to MIT

Quicktime video: small large

More information at this web page.

By the way, I want one of these.

p.s. sorry I haven't been posting but work has been weighing me down... I'll get some time in a few days though so check back soon!

Posted by kgutwin at 12:18 PM | Comments (64) | TrackBack

April 24, 2005

Slowing Down

Yeah... my posts are slowing down, slower, slower... I don't know - for some reason, now, having a public journal just doesn't sound all that enthralling to me. It's hard for me to have an excuse to post (tonight I'm only posting because I feel like I ought to, and because I'd rather be doing anything other than my homework) and even when I might have the time, it's hard for me to come up with fun things to talk about.

Let's see, what should I mention?

I fixed my umbrella, again, for what has to be the fifth time. This thing just won't stop breaking but the way it breaks is just too easy for me to keep fixing. Basically the plastic cap at the very top of the umbrella broke off a while ago and I have had various fixes and replacements for it, involving tape, screws, glue, then finally a new, bigger cap and a bigger screw... but this past time the screw came out again! Well, nothing left to do but to JB-weld it. Ayup, that's right, JB-weld works wonders. Well, at least on an umbrella.

I have a concert this Friday. Well, we're only performing one song which is kinda wacky. Our real concert is next Saturday. Here, though, they make the guys wear tuxedos so I had to go out and get decked out. I didn't buy a tuxedo jacket because the jacket I have now is pretty good already and a used tuxedo jacket is at least $60. Other than that, I have all the authentic parts, complete with cheap cuff links. Now I'm all dressed up and I just need somewhere to go...

Another audiobook is in the works, even though Becca's CD player is giving her trouble. She's going to try to clean it which I hope will fix it because it would be kinda silly to spend the time to record an audiobook and have her not be able to listen to it. The title will be withheld until it's finished, which with any luck will be sometime soon.

Lab has been fun although I spent all day Friday doing the same experiment over and over. It's cool that things are working although not quite like we expected but I suppose that's what makes it interesting. It is pretty neat that I'm able to do more and more of this stuff by myself. Maybe by the end I'll be doing it all by myself but for now I'm still basically doing what this guy tells me to do.

We'll leave it there for now. It's been pleasantly rainy here for the past few days and overall things are cheery :)

Posted by kgutwin at 09:49 PM | TrackBack

April 10, 2005

Been So Busy

Hey all... well, all who's left - I'm sure I've cast off what readership I had remaining at this point. Yes, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. And believe me, I wish I could take the time to do fun stuff like post to this blog... but let me just take a moment to summarize the past week or two:

Work.

Yeah, yeah, we all know and we all get busy. I guess it's just that I never feel like it's ok to take a break, even if it's a really short break. I might have mentioned before that I operate in one of two modes: either laid-back, I have plenty of time, it'll all get done... or panicked, I have no time, damage control I gotta work as hard as possible. I've been in that second mode for the past week - and it's certainly been justified as I was up until midnight at least twice the past week. It's been a little easier now because I'm between rotations and the homework has let up a little bit... but I know it'll crunch even harder in another week, and even harder up to the end of the semester.

If I ever get the chance I'll post to Science Corner. I really really want to, and I actually have the answers to my father's questions, I just haven't had time to write them up in an amusing fashion. Plus I have another half-finished Science Corner article which is waiting for me to spend a few moments on it... it's tough though because you would think I would even have some time to work on it on the train, but many times I can't get a seat on the train and typing while standing on a moving train is tough :)

All I can say is stay tuned. Believe me, nobody wants me to take a break more than myself...

Posted by kgutwin at 07:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 30, 2005

Books etc.

Oh man, there was something funny I was going to write about but I've forgotten it now...

So now that my project is done I can tell you all about it :) I'm always trying to think of ways I can send Becca little pieces of home even when she's far away. Of course it's really tough since it costs about $0.80 an ounce to send mail there, and then it takes a few weeks... Well, a little while ago I put together a package for her and mailed it off. In it I included a CD with some music that I've been listening to so that she could listen to some of my music. I also got out my microphone and recorded a little bit of my voice on the CD so she could listen to me without all the sketchiness of our phone conversations. But getting out that microphone gave me an idea - and a after a week later, and many hours spent, that idea was finished.

I recorded my own audiobook and burned it onto a small CD which fits in an envelope. The book is "The Secret Adversary" by Agatha Christie and is a great story about a young man and woman who have lots of adventures figuring out a mystery. The story is 28 chapters and just over 8 hours long. I am certainly no voice actor but I did my best to read in an interesting style, without any accents, really, because I'm awful at doing accents. It's recorded as MP3s so it'll play on your iPod, my car CD player and (of course) Becca's portable CD player. Oh yeah - and it's completely unedited, mostly because I didn't have the time!

Now that it's done and she's received it and is enjoying it, I offer it to the rest of you if you're interested in listening to me read for eight hours. If you have an iPod I will send you the compressed files; otherwise, I can burn you a set of CDs that can play in any CD player -- it'll be about 7 CDs worth! Just send me an email.

Oh right, I remembered what was funny... I got a piece of junk mail today advertising (no joke) the "University of Maryland University College" -- I guess just in case you didn't get the hint, they're a University... or a College... who knows :) They want to invite me to "take my career to the next level" by choosing from a bunch of graduate programs like Master of Science in E-Commerce or of course, Master of Science in Biotechnology Studies. I can gain "education and clout" and "boost [my] marketability and staying power--not to mention [my] earning potential." I guess they didn't get the memo that I'm already enrolled in a graduate program, thankyouverymuch... one which will probably increase my earning potential a bit more than they can offer. Oh well.

Goodnight!

Posted by kgutwin at 09:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 28, 2005

Still Tired

Why am I still tired? I thought I got plenty of sleep over break... I had somewhat of a tough time last night because I was kept awake by my roommates and their friends, but I didn't think that it would be that big of a problem. Now 9:00 is rolling around again and I'm ready to head to bed.

I need to start working again. Break was lots of fun and very very relaxing but I have papers to read and a review to write by Wednesday. Fortunately I have no other immediate assignments but I see there's a bioinformatics problem set due next week... I would get started on it but it hasn't even been posted yet, never mind that we haven't learned any of the material for it :)

The days go by so quickly. It seems like my life is so full of anticipation I'm constantly distracted from the present. Some people might think you ought only to look to the future but I think every once in a while it's good to take a look at the present. At least that way you won't miss out on things quite so easily.

I've noticed that it's much easier to post to my blog when I'm the most relaxed. When I was busy the week before break, and even when I was home "relaxing", I was just far too distracted to be able to put anything reasonable up. Now I can sit at my computer and just type for a few minutes and be satisfied. Folks tell me they enjoy reading this stuff even though it all seems perfectly banal to me. Well, I try to enjoy posting it as much as you enjoy reading it...

Today was a very gray day, lots and lots of rain. I'm sure many folks were frustrated by the rain but I took the time to appreciate it. I only wish that I could open the window in lab... I would have loved to hear the rain softly falling. Spring is coming, which isn't all bad.

Posted by kgutwin at 08:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 27, 2005

Back in Boston

Safe and sound. No trip troubles at all... just a minor concern about gas mileage which leaves a lot open-ended. I suppose it's inevitable that something in that cantankerous box will break again but it's anyone's guess what and when that will be.

It's nice to be back. Break was fun and I was sad to see it go but at the same time there's lots of stuff to be done here. Plus coming back here means that I can resume my daily routine which is clearly easier here than it is at home :) I never really realized how important it is just to have the light turn on in the morning when it's dark out!

I finally got my W-2 from Brandeis - judging by all the marks and stamps on it, it definitely went through quite an ordeal in order to arrive here. It has at least three postmarks on it - Boston, Burlington and Williston... my address printed in, written on and crossed out with stamps that say MOVED, LEFT NO ADDRESS. It must have gotten to Williston, my mom wrote "Please Fwd" on it as well as a new address, but someone somewhere got confused and returned it to sender, where it finally arrived over a month later back at Brandeis (judging by the "Received Mar 09 2005 Controller's Office" stamp). I knew I hadn't received this form so I faxed Brandeis a Duplicate W-2 Request form last Thursday but they must have noticed my returned-to-sender W-2 and just put it in a brown envelope and mailed it straight away to my apartment here. Finally. Uh, woo hoo, now I can do my taxes? :-/

Clean up, dishes and long awaited bedtime. By the way, Rebecca Collins is the sweetest girl ever. Just so you know. :)

Posted by kgutwin at 07:54 PM | TrackBack

March 26, 2005

Skiing in Canada

Thursday and Friday I went with my mom and Bruce to Mont Tremblant in Quebec, Canada for a day of skiing. It was a lot of fun but the snow wasn't all that good. The resort is huge - about eight chair lifts and a gondola, plus many many trails... we barely used the same lift twice, let alone skied the same run twice :) Still, it was nice to get away and stay somewhere else for a change. It was interesting being in a bilingual area; I appreciated being able to read much of the French even though I don't speak it really anymore. Maybe someday I will regain my French ability, but not any time soon.

It's funny - despite having a two day adventure up there, I can't think of much to say about it. Overall, something about this break just feels off, such that nothing exciting seems to be happening. My only guess is that it is because I feel like I am missing so many people - maybe it's even just because I miss Becca so much. But whatever it is -- I wouldn't say it's preventing me from having a good time, because I think I'm having as much fun as one could be expected. It's just not sitting in quite the same way. It's kind of like eating when you have a stomachache... the food tastes fine, but it just doesn't feel like it's satisfying the same way.

Posted by kgutwin at 05:34 PM | TrackBack

March 21, 2005

Fun, abbreviated

Why do I get the feeling that everybody else is out having fun while I'm coasting here? Anna's on a backpacking trip with her friends, Becca and Becca are having innumerable adventures abroad, Matthew's in Chicago, Grandma and Grandpa are in Florida... and I'm here, either at the gym cooling my heels or at home where everything is in such disarray that it's a chore just to watch TV.

Or maybe it's just the anticlimax to what would otherwise be an infinitely happy day. It's our one-year anniversary, Becca and I... and of course the bittersweet is all too strong. We were able to get a webcam chat set up this morning, but we spent so long trying to get everything set up - and on top of that I was constantly interrupted and distracted here... and then she had to go! Technology, technology... such a waste sometimes. All I really wanted was a smile and some reminiscing, but I didn't realize that until it was too late.

All that's left to do is coast through the rest of the day, and catch her tomorrow. It'll get easier, I know it, and smiles always come in the end. Right now, though, I have to decide whether I should work here at the gym or head home and relax. I think I'll go home...

Posted by kgutwin at 09:27 AM | TrackBack

March 20, 2005

Finally Home

I made it home! It was a fine trip. No car problems, thank goodness. Every time I get in my car I think a bit about what could go wrong... sometimes I get slightly suspicious on the road but it's been fine for quite a while. The car at this point is being used for not much more than sporadic, fairly long-distance trips... which I hope is not too hard on it.

It's so nice to be home. Last night I spent a long time talking with my mom, and seeing what she's done with the house - she has a lot of plans for it which she's finally getting to do now that everyone's away :) It'll look really nice, though, once she can get it finished.

I still don't know yet what I'll be doing when I'm here. I know that there's a few little things that mom wants me to look at here at the gym, and I have a project or two that I ought to be working on, but besides that it'll be a whole lot of nothing. Which is excellent now. Being able to relax is really important to me at this point.

On a totally different note, my phone gets data signal here! Yay! This certainly wasn't the case last time I was home, and it was pretty weird to not get instant notification of my emails etc. Now I just have to make sure that I'm not going to be paying through the nose for the privilege of getting a few measly bytes of data while I'm home. If it's cheap or free, though, then I can tell you one thing -- I won't be driving all the way to the gym to chat with Becca in the morning!

Posted by kgutwin at 06:31 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 17, 2005

Easter Meat

Some days are straightforward... other days are fun... sometimes it's just weird :) Today was a long day. Up at 6am to study for my exam, studying on the train, lab, exam, then class and more lab, oops, forgot to have dinner, chorus, long ride home and then hang out and have a Guinness with the roommates.

But what really surprised me was the package I got! I love it when packages arrive that I don't expect. This one was from my mom (with the "Vermont makes it special" sticker on it) and contained one pound of beef jerky along with a very sweet Easter card and some bank information. The card said that she thought that rather than having Easter candy, I'd rather have meat :) So now I have a pound of Easter meat. Which is beef, not bunny, just in case you were wondering...

On a side note, the car which has been parked in the Blockbuster parking TOW ZONE NO PARKING for several weeks is finally gone. Who knows whether they just didn't tow the car or whether there was something involved with the store owners... my car's pretty safe where it is, though. It's just surprising how long that car was there. I've definitely seen tow trucks driving through there, and once in a while they get a car... good thing I can safely park on the street. I checked up on my car today and all appears well. Just so long as nobody put a car bomb on it... just kidding :)

Posted by kgutwin at 10:25 PM | TrackBack

March 14, 2005

Enjoy your Life

Today, as I walked from MIT towards the T station, I walked over the Harvard Bridge as I always do. I don't often walk this way at night, and many times (especially in the winter) the weather doesn't permit me to observe anything more than a few feet of pavement in front of me. But tonight it was nice enough for me to look around, and I admired the Boston skyline. From the middle of the Harvard Bridge you can see just about everything, from downtown all the way towards BU, as well as everything on the Cambridge side.

As I was posting to Becca's blog, I thought about that experience. Somedays, even doing the same thing that you've done many a time, sometimes it just feels a little special. It's not like I've never seen the Boston skyline before... but tonight I felt like I got the chance to appreciate it.

Make sure you take the time every day to find something to appreciate. It's like the effort I put into posting to my blog. I don't do it because I'm just bursting with fun and exciting stuff... some days I'm less than enthusiastic - and some days I forget entirely! But when I remember, I make the effort, because there always has to be something that happened today worth writing about. I couldn't imagine a day that was so utterly like the one before that it didn't even deserve a passing, trivial mention. I know that if I ever got to that point - it's not about my situation, it's about my attitude! Something interesting always happens, you just have to be willing to go and dig it up.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 12, 2005

The Day

Not much happened today.

Had to decide whether to get dressed this morning or stay in my pajamas. I knew I wasn't going anywhere today - which wasn't really a bad thing. Decided to get dressed but wore a shirt normally reserved for pajama use anyway. Did not put on socks all day.

Lots of work on my programming homework. Trying to puzzle this algorithm out is slow going. There's probably a more efficient way to do it but I don't know it... so I stare at a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it and pretend I'm a computer. Pretty easy to do. Computers are pretty dumb.

Meals were uninspired. The crowning glory of the day was a frying pan of potatoes and a hamburger patty chopped into chunks, cooked together and doused in mesquite marinade. Too lazy to even chop up part of an onion, which would have made ten times the difference.

The bright part of the day was working on a project for Becca. I'll keep it secret now but you all will know soon enough. Lots of fun, very creative... I know she'll love it.

Goodnight everybody... church tomorrow and dinner in the North End with MIT recruits!

Posted by kgutwin at 09:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 11, 2005

A Breakdown in the System

Tonight I decided I was going to cook something nice and tasty. I don't get the chance too often, especially during the week, just because of my schedule. But tonight I had nothing to worry about so I figured I'd give it a shot.

Usually my meal planning process begins with identifying the key ingredient that I'm going to use. Tonight it was some hamburger that I had bought a few days ago and had frozen. While I was defrosting that, I started brainstorming... and quickly came to realize that what I really wanted to make was some chili or chili-like stuff. There was one problem, however. I had no tomatoes. Now, I had a can of black beans, and a can of kidney beans, plenty of potatoes, rice and pasta if I needed it, an onion, spices... but no tomatoes. No celery, peppers or carrots either but that could be forgiven. Tomatoes, though, are a key ingredient in chili.

Of course, you might ask, why didn't I just go out and buy what I needed? I just didn't feel like it. Mostly because I had other stuff I wanted to do this evening and didn't want to spend a half hour shopping, an hour or more cooking, a half hour eating and then bedtime. So instead I fried the hamburger as a patty and had a valient attempt at a tasty meal with some Indian and Middle eastern flavors. It just wasn't the same, though.

The moral of the story? Always have a can of tomatoes handy.

Posted by kgutwin at 07:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 10, 2005

Topic for Discussion

Here, in brief (cause it's late):

I was thinking about a news story I read in the Jordan Times a while ago (sorry, reference is gone) about how Iraqis were not in favor of Saturday being a holiday because it is a "Jewish" holiday. That got me wondering about why, in Middle Eastern nations, or Arabic nations, or just "over there somewhere", people feel like it's okay to hate a group of people and teach that hate to those around them.

Now of course nobody is immune to this and I can come up with five examples immediately about how we Americans have been prone to blind hate in the past and present. But it seems to me that at least here, there's a drive to end hate, to be tolerant and loving - not only in Christian but in secular terms also.

So why is this kind of public hate so prevalent? Is it acceptable? Is it merely a 'phase' which will someday be overcome with love, or is this hate rooted deeper?

Feel free to comment. I'll summarize and add my own thoughts in a few days.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 09, 2005

Beef Nibbles

I always check the mail here at my apartment with great anticipation... I never know when I'm going to get a letter from my sweetheart. We've been sending letters back and forth ever since she left... so far I've recieved one letter and two postcards! And I think she's received three of my four letters, plus there's a package I just put in the mail yesterday which will take a few weeks to arrive.

Of course, it's even more of a surprise when I get mail from someone who I didn't expect! I told you a while ago about how I got a postcard from my dear sister who is in South Africa... well, today I saw a little envelope in the mailbox and my heart fluttered for a moment before I realized it was just from my sister ;) I was still excited, though, because it obviously contained something interesting - padded envelopes always carry little goodies.

The envelope contained a little plastic pouch and a letter. The plastic pouch says "Stormberg Natural Veld-Fed Chilli Beef Biltong Nibbles" and it contains what appears to be little sticks of dried beef. The package goes into exuberant detail about the "grassy plains of the Stormberg" and how it contains a "unique and unforgettable taste experience".

Beef Nibbles? Hmmm.... Now, I'm always adventurous when it comes to food. After all, if it isn't good, I can just spit it out :) But here is a dilemma: I can open this package, partake of the unforgettable taste experience, but it is a mere 40 grams which, if I am not careful, will last all of 40 seconds. On the other hand, I can leave the package sealed, and take it as a fine memento of my sister's travels... but then I don't get to have a taste experience.

The letter is the saving grace, though - Becca tells me she'll just buy some more if I like it! But I'm not sure how she'll get it to me... she tells me she's not allowed to bring it through US customs, but how else will she bring to me the required quantity?

Posted by kgutwin at 08:09 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 08, 2005

Random update

* My Sidekick's data function is, and has been officially down since yesterday early morning. It's pretty obnoxious because I use the email and web functions a whole lot. I wrote a scathing email post to my blog this morning which has yet to be sent...

* Rotation #2 has officially begun with my outstanding investment of nearly 2 hours this morning. Needless to say, I don't have much yet to report. I will keep you posted as developments arise.

* Tonight is early bedtime because I haven't been exactly sticking to my schedule the past few days. It's so hard to get up at 5 to do work...

* it's snowing like crazy here! I love how the temperature was a nice, balmy 50 degrees... right up until noon yesterday. Then it started going down and down and at this point, it's at 15 degrees and still descending. So much for our chance to beat Jordan ;)

Posted by kgutwin at 09:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 07, 2005

Weekend

ummm... the weekend... You know, this past weekend was pretty unimpressive, as weekends go. I went out to dinner with my friends on Saturday, but that's as exciting as it got - just a bunch of homework, or at least trying to do homework. Same thing on Sunday... I got to go to church, which I missed last week. Went out to dinner last night with some more MIT biology recruits, that was fun. I got back really late, though, which I wasn't expecting; well, I suppose I would have expected it had I given the matter any thought.

This upcoming week I start my second rotation - starting Tuesday. It's been nice to have last Friday and this Monday off :) I still have to go in to chorus, though.

Posted by kgutwin at 06:24 AM | TrackBack

March 04, 2005

Excise Taxes

One day, while cruising around Boston's website, I came across a link, which led to another link, which started to get me worried because they were talking about taxes... automobile excise taxes.

It turns out that the City of Boston collects a yearly tax on all autos registered in the state and held in Boston. Well, this was news to me! Of course, I was not looking forward to paying yet another fee, tax, whatever to this blasted state just for keeping my car here. But, I read more about how much this tax was going to cost me, and here's the formula:

• First, you start with the original value of the car.
• Next, you take a percentage of that value, given the car's age.
• Now, you pay $25 per $1,000 of that value.
• Finally, if the registration was completed after January 31st, you only have to pay for the months after registration up to December 31st.

The upshot of all this is that the City of Boston values my car at $1,050, and so would normally pay just over $25 per year, but since I got my car registered in October of last year, I only pay for three months. So I now have a tax bill from the City of Boston with the grand total of $6.56.

Crazy Massachusettsians with their crazy taxes. It'll probably cost them more to process my payment than they will get out of the whole deal. Oh yeah, this $25 tax is on top of an annual $41 registration renewal fee and a $40 license renewal every five years. Plus my $984 per year insurance bill, plus gas, plus repairs... owning a car is expensive.

Posted by kgutwin at 07:52 PM | TrackBack

March 02, 2005

More Sleep Schedule Updates

Just a couple of quick points, because it's soooo late...

This method, of going to bed early and waking up early to do most of my homework, actually appears to be very much healthier than my old sleep schedule. I know that if I want to trade school work time for sleep time, it's easy to simply stay up later. I've never had a problem staying awake long enough to do my work, even if that leaves me only a few hours to sleep. However, I can't easily wake up early to do work if I've been losing sleep, because it's just impossible for me to drag myself out of bed, and even when that's done I sit and stare, trying to wake myself up. This actually encourages me to keep a healthy sleep schedule in the long run, because losing sleep at any time during the week can have a pretty substantial impact on my ability to do my homework.

However, tonight is the first night that I had to go against this idea. After hosting this recruit over the weekend, I burned a lot of time that would normally be time-managed to get my week's work done. Tonight, I had to basically pound through a problem set which is due tomorrow. I would have woken up with a few hours to work on it tomorrow, but I had no idea how long it would take me, and at this point I can hardly afford to trust that the time will be there, when I'm literally counting the hours before the due date. So now it's past eleven, and it'll be really tough to drag myself out of bed tomorrow morning... but Becca's worth it :)

Off to bed! I'm neglecting so many things... maybe I can get some of them done tomorrow morning.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:55 PM | TrackBack

February 28, 2005

Topics in Middle Eastern Politics

So for obvious reasons I have been paying much attention to what is going on in the Middle East... and around here, it's tough to get a good perspective on what people are really thinking. Here in America it's been a very long time since militias had any real effect, and what we learn in the history books is very far removed from what's actually going on today.

I stumbled across this article which does a fantastic job describing a lot of the history of what is going on in Lebanon. Maybe you 'old folks' remember a civil war in Lebanon, but I certainly don't, let alone understand why it happened. The article gives a lot of background and describes the formation of Hizbollah, a militia which has been getting a lot of publicity lately. The other interesting thing is that it gives a context for some of the public statements that have been made regarding the death of Hariri.

The article does end up becoming a sort of apologia about Hizbollah. The author is acknowledged as a Syrian political analyst; however, you do get a lot of insight into the facts of the situation. It shed a whole lot of light on something which has been portrayed here in American media as a black-or-white, terrorist-vs-freeman conflict.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:21 AM | TrackBack

February 25, 2005

Revenge of the Blog People

Library Journal - Revenge of the Blog People!

I just thought this would be a funny thing to post to my blog... a bit ironic because the article really is a diatribe against blogs. Read it and think about it for some moments.

Personally I can't provide too much opinion on the matter. The only 'blog' I ever read regularly is Slashdot, and that doesn't really count. Well, maybe it does - after all, it presents news in a fashion tailored to the culture that created and supports it. It doesn't encourage me to go out and do my own research, to analyze much in depth, but rather I skim and consume, which is perfectly fine by me because most of the stuff that appears there has little effect on me in total. To me, it exists for 90% entertainment value and 10% actual important stuff.

Meanwhile, I know that my blog exists only to broadcast my life to my friends and family. There's no critical news analysis here, and no pretention either - I'm not trying to save the world by a groundbreaking announcement, I'm just saying silly stuff like what I ate for dinner last night. Someday I'll mention why I think it's important for me to do this stuff... not today, though, I have other things to do.

Posted by kgutwin at 07:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 19, 2005

Success!

I have managed to finish the day not feeling like it was a waste! It took some pretty heavy duty restrictions, though. I knew I was going to be on the computer all day, working on a programming problem for my parallel computing class, and so I just did my very best to avoid goofing off on the web.

The web has got to be the biggest time waster ever invented. I can't imagine how productive I would be if I didn't spend hours looking at useless web sites. The problem is that it's just so interesting... and it's not like I can see something and then say, "no, I won't look into that now, I'll save it for later..." because I'm interested in it now! Instant gratification, instant time wastage. Sometimes I learn interesting stuff but the majority of the time I just look at random news that will never really be related to me.

For some people, the big time waster is AIM. I don't have that problem because I hardly ever chat with anyone online. It's just the way it goes, I guess... I'm not complaining though because if people did bug me online, I don't know how I would ever get anything done seeing as how I already waste time surfing the web.

Goodnight, folks, it's past my bedtime and maybe, just maybe, I'll chat with Becca tomorrow :)

Posted by kgutwin at 09:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 18, 2005

Postcards from Jordan

I got my postcard from Becca today! I guessed it would arrive yesterday, and was mildly disappointed to come home and see nothing yesterday... but it was in my mailbox today :) It's really fun... a picture of Amman and the Roman Theatre there (calling it 'ruins' just isn't fair - it's in really good shape, especially for thousands of years!) and a fun story about Arabic lessons and the city on the other side. The card is postmarked the 7th of February which means it only takes a week and a half for airmail to arrive - pretty neat :)

Not only that, but she's been on a trip this weekend, and she's been sending me little text messages as she goes along. They're like instant postcards, without the pictures of course, but so nice nonetheless. It's a little crazy knowing she's out there having fun and I have to stay back here and mope around... but it's my goal to have less moping and more working. After all, daydreaming won't get me through this semester in one piece.

Posted by kgutwin at 08:39 PM | TrackBack

February 16, 2005

Day after day

My only class today was moved to tomorrow so I had a day off - which means I stayed home for a while doing work (for that class, due tomorrow) and then went into lab at noon. Worked for a while... got a new project since the other one worked but not well enough.

These days feel like they're going by lightning-quick - which is a good thing I suppose because it means just a few days closer to when Becca gets back... unfortunately I still have a lot of work to do in the meantime. I have a page of writing due tomorrow, then over the weekend I have two problem sets and another page of writing, plus a whole bunch of reading. I just have to take it day after day... but I can't forget my deadlines!

Oh yeah - I got a postcard from Becca... my sister :) Very nice and unexpected, although unfortunately I never got her mailing address before she left so I'm not sure how I would go about returning the favor. My other Becca sent me a postcard a little while ago and I'm hoping it'll arrive soon...

Posted by kgutwin at 07:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 15, 2005

Rotation Progression

I just realized I don't talk much about what's been going on in my rotations - although folks ask me about it all the time and it really is the most interesting part of the semester...

I'm having a lot of fun in the Keating lab. For this rotation, my time is split between doing wet lab and dry lab work. The wet lab stuff is amazing, mostly because I've never really had this kind of experience before. Every other biology student I talk to is surprised that I've never spent much time in the wet lab... but the truth is that all the research work I've done has been computer work. It's not even like we're doing anything super exciting - working with DNA and plasmids, transforming strains of E. coli, expressing and purifying protein, and running gels. Standard biochemistry techniques - but nothing that I've really had hands-on experience doing, other than biology teaching lab which only encourages you to follow the recipe, not really remember why you're doing what you're doing. And so far, everything that I've done in the wet lab has worked, thank goodness, despite my nervousness at screwing things up. I'm working with the technician in the lab - he essentially just does basic things that need to get done in the lab, he doesn't have his own research project - and so far he's screwed up more than me ;) of course, when you do things a million times you get less careful so I understand completely. I appreciate how he lets me work alongside him... with me asking all the time how to do things.

With the dry lab stuff, I've got a fairly independent project on the computer. This stuff I understand a bit more, mostly because I'm already familiar with it. One of the questions the lab wants to address is protein interactions. A very important part of biology is how proteins interact, and many times they do so by sticking together. Also, an important part of many proteins is what's called a coiled coil - if you've ever seen a telephone cord get all twisted up, that's a coiled coil. What happens many times is that one half of the coiled coil will be one protein and the other half will be another. If you've ever tried to untwist a phone cord you know how tough it can be - imagine if the phone cord was cut in half but each half stuck to each other, how hard that would be to separate. But predicting these interactions isn't always easy, because not all coiled coil halves (we call them domains) stick to every other one. Furthermore, they could coil in either a parallel or antiparallel fashion, but they usually prefer one over the other. My project is to evaluate a particular method called "statistical potentials" to see whether we can predict which interactions are good (i.e. they happen in nature) and which aren't. Also, I'd like to see if I can predict whether a particular pair prefers parallel or antiparallel orientation. It isn't working well yet, so I've got to dig in a bit more, but it's been lots of fun :)

Well, gotta run and get my laundry, then more paper reading for another class... the work never stops.

Posted by kgutwin at 08:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 14, 2005

Valentine's Day

Oh man, I need to go to bed but I just remembered to make a Valentine's day post... better make this quick.

Obviously (for anyone who knows me) for me this Valentine's day is very different than any one before. I can't tell you how crazy it is - it's one of the most bittersweet things ever. I'm constantly torn between hearing from Becca and feeling so excited she's mine, and then seeing other couples around town who are going out, having fun, and I only have my memories and my aspirations.

I have to say that this isn't the first cheery Valentine's day for me. I don't remember whether it was last year or the year before, but I remember just being excited that God was preparing me for a relationship like this - even though it hadn't happened yet. I remember being at Real Life over at Harvard on the Friday before, and finding a valentine on the floor (which wasn't to me, of course.) You have to understand, normally that kind of stuff would at least annoy me, if not make me frustrated and depressed. But this time, I picked up the valentine and appreciated it. It's a simple construction paper heart, with the phrase "Love is Metaphysical Gravity" attributed to R. Buckminster Fuller printed on it. I remember showing it to a bunch of people that night... nobody really appreciated it as much as I did. I remember, though, feeling so free - not obsessing over some girl, like I had always done before, but just being able to show it to my friends.

You see, up until a few years ago Love for me was not only dangerous but very painful. It was something to be avoided, something which I ran from and yet was sucked into, only at the bottom to be chewed up and spit back out. Call it a product of my youth, immaturity or inexperience or impatience, whatever you will. As my college years passed, though, I began to realize that there was a specific purpose why I had never had a girlfriend before, and that I was being carefully prepared for the day when such a chance would be granted to me. For example, there was a girl at one point who I was attracted to, and who seemed to be interested in me... but fairly soon I knew that I wasn't supposed to pursue this, that it was actually practice for me to say No, something I had no experience in thinking before! Little events like this led me to be patient, to know that God really was taking care of this.

And then, it seemed like all of a sudden, everything came together. I actually got up the courage to ask Becca to watch a movie with me and she didn't turn me down. I asked her to come over for dinner and she didn't turn me down. I hung out with her and she never ran away... and I held her hand and looked in her eyes and knew that this was it, this was what I had been waiting my whole life for and why it had been so long, because it was so pure and sweet.

Nobody really knows what will happen, down the road. I know there are things that we take for ourselves, that we grip a hold of and yet somehow God still takes them away from us, only because He loves us... but then there are those gifts which He gives freely, which we're supposed to hold tight and treasure. Maybe Becca will be that gift for me. But even if not, she has been the bearer of a gift which no other could have borne - the gift to be able to love and to look forward to a day when all my hopes and dreams will come to pass. Up until that day when we said yes to each other, I had never been able to look forward to such a day; there had been no hope that it would ever happen.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. And thank you all for loving me, in your own way.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 12, 2005

Some Good News, some Bad News

The Good news:
- I got to chat with Becca today! Pretty much unexpected... but she had escaped her house and managed to visit an internet cafe after taking a trip to the local mall. We chatted for just about two hours... probably the most that I've communicated with her since she left. Not much has happened with either of us, so it wasn't very substantial, but it is just so nice to know that she's there.

- I cleaned up my room today! My room tends to get messy. Pretty messy. That, plus the rug that I have does an exceptionally poor job of hiding any dirt... a good thing since it makes me vacuum more often. By the way, when I was vacuuming, apparently the folks living below me didn't appreciate it since they were banging on their ceiling. I say deal with it, there's nothing wrong with doing some vacuuming at 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon. If it was 3am it would be different, but unless they're willing to come over and vacuum at a time that is convenient for them, they'll just have to put up with it for a few minutes.

- I also replaced the power supply in my other computer... something that I've needed to do for a while but didn't actually do it until my dad sent me a PSU that was intended to replace my first dead one. It didn't fit, though, so I ordered a new one (like I mentioned) and put this one in my other computer. Straightforward... always a little frustrating when it doesn't start up the first time, but it usually gets fixed in the end.

The Bad news:
- surprise, surprise, I never got around to doing what I really needed to do today... my homework, mostly. I think I have the time now to pay my bills and update my financial program, if I get this post done quick. But, truth be told, I needed to clean up my room before I did anything else - it's just that I wasted a whole lot of time otherwise. This, plus the fact that my new sleeping schedule actually gives me less time during the week to get my work done, is just going to make this next week more difficult.

Here goes...

Posted by kgutwin at 08:20 PM | TrackBack

February 11, 2005

Too many holidays?

Economist says Jordanians get too many holidays

Is there such thing as too many holidays? They make a good case for that idea in this article.

Of course, school kids only think of holidays as days to play and not worry about work (although when you get older, they make you work anyway during your days off...) But this article points out that in the business world, taking time off almost always results in less money. For successful businesses, maybe that isn't such a big deal. But for businesses who always ride the edge of profitability, having a few extra days off can make the difference between a profit and a loss. And when you live paycheck to paycheck, or even day to day in the case of a taxi driver, having a day off could be devastating. Even if your business doesn't take the day off - if there's a national holiday, customers tend to stay home and your profits fall.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:08 AM | TrackBack

February 09, 2005

So tired... must post...

In case you haven't noticed, I'm aiming for at least one post per day. Mostly because I know that if I start slacking off, I'll never get back to it. Also, though, it's not like a day ever goes by without anything at all interesting happening. There's always something to report.

Let's see... so what actually happened today... I got to chat with Becca this morning - not once, but twice! It was positively crazy - but so much fun... it's great to hear that she's doing well. A lot of what she told me is already on her blog, so you can go over there to read it.

What else... class was fun, I had a short writing assignment which I finished up this morning. I didn't actually spend much time in lab, mostly because I wanted to stay home this morning and relax and get my work done. I'm beginning to think that waking up at 5am is a little early, because I'm getting more and more tired. I think actually that I need more than eight hours of sleep per night! That's not too surprising since people's sleep needs vary quite a bit. We'll see what happens... but talking with Becca in the morning is just too valuable to give up :)

Um, had an idea about measuring aggregate power line fluctuations with a simple small 100:1 stepdown transformer plugged into a computer's sound card. Maybe I can scavenge one of those from my dead psu. Do continuous fft, save fft result and any frame which is significantly uncorrelated to the mean.

Ok, not much else to report... I just have to dash off an email to Becca and then it's bedtime for me. Goodnight!

Posted by kgutwin at 09:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 08, 2005

Just in case you didn't believe me

USATODAY.com - Snow, wind, rain sweep Middle East

Here's a report which confirms Becca's snow day story. Sounds like a lot of fun! Although maybe not for Becca because she hasn't really been too satisfied with her homestay experience... it'll get better, she's sure, but while communication is difficult it will be more of a chore than a party.

Posted by kgutwin at 07:08 PM | TrackBack

February 06, 2005

From the whoops dept.

New Romance turns out to be old hat

Wow... I can't say much about this one... just wow... it's so funny, you've got to read it. It's funnier if you take it in a middle eastern context, though.

Posted by kgutwin at 04:33 PM | TrackBack

February 05, 2005

The solution to Traffic Jams

Over in Jordan, they've got the right idea:

Letters to the Editor - The Jordan Times

Needles and jams

Where is the traffic police? Where are the people within the municipality who decided that the best place to have the "Cultural Street", resulting in single lane traffic, in Shmeisani? Have any of them seen the horrific traffic jams that have become a daily occurrence?

You would have to see it to believe it: cars backed up and honking, angry and frustrated drivers on every street in the Shemisani network. God help anyone who might have an emergency (or an appointment); the possibility of surviving the up to 30-minute wait to get out of the area is absolutely nil.

I have found my own solution to deal with the problem and I would advise the "powers to be" to advocate the same for other frustrated drivers in the area.

The answer is knitting! I take mine along with me and sometimes I am able to knit a whole scarf while waiting for the jam to unsnarl. If drivers are supplied with yarn and knitting needles they will knit instead of honk and those responsible for the mess can forget about correcting the problem. Simple isn't it?

Karen Asfour,
Amman

Posted by kgutwin at 05:59 PM | TrackBack

Sleep....

Last night, just before bed, pondering over many things, I had a crazy idea. I'm always thinking about how I miss Becca, how I wish I could talk with her, and how tricky it is because of the time difference. My waking schedule is normally 8am to 12midnight... that's pretty decent, I think, but that means I basically sleep from 7am to 3pm Jordan time. Now, I don't know her schedule, and it would probably be changing at some point anyway, but I thought something interesting -- what if I shift my sleeping schedule so I go to bed much earlier and wake up much earlier?

I know I couldn't shift it to line up perfectly with hers. For that, I would need to go to bed between 5 and 6pm and wake up around 2am. Not really a good idea. But I could go to bed around 9pm and wake up around 5am my time, which would mean I would wake up around noon her time.

Now, I admit the primary impetus for me trying this crazy experiment would be to see if I could chat with her online. But the added bonus is that I really do like mornings, and it's only those crazy nights which keep me up so late which make it hard to appreciate mornings. They're much more peaceful, and I do get a lot of work done when I'm well rested and having the rising sun at my face.

We'll see how it goes. I'm not guaranteeing anything. Now, though, shifting my schedule will be tricky...

Posted by kgutwin at 03:55 PM | TrackBack

February 03, 2005

Missing her

I haven't heard from her in, well, it's been over 30 hours now since I got her last text message, and even longer since I got her last email. I'm sure she's fine. It's actually a little sad because the first two days she was gone, she emailed me in the afternoon - her afternoon, which is my early morning - meaning I woke up and was late getting ready in the morning because I spent too much time thinking about her. The past two days, though, I've dutifully woken up early... to no avail as there has been no word from her waiting in my inbox. Humph.

Becoming busier has helped to partition my thought space so that she's not always on my mind 100%... but I still have those moments where I wish I could just hear from her, to appease my crazy mind.

This won't last, I promise you. If, in two months, you're still reading posts that say "I haven't heard from her in 3 hours, 29 minutes and 17 seconds" you have the right to chastise me. But just because I don't post it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it. I can enforce rules on my blog but it never profits me to enforce rules on my heart.

Ok, now it's time for bed. Maybe I will wake up and find a message waiting from her. Hope is such a powerful thing.

Posted by kgutwin at 11:49 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Choosing Classes

The biggest thing on my mind for the past day has been what classes to take this upcoming semester. I have to say, this semester potentially will be one of my most interesting semesters, and not just because of my classes. The stuff that I get to do in rotations seems to be very very cool, and I'm really looking forward to digging into it.

The problem, though, is that surprise surprise, I've overloaded on classes for this semester. A normal course load for the spring semester 1st year is three classes plus the rotation. I've registered for four. Plus, the classes offered spring semester tend to be lighter-weight reading courses -- but I've managed to register for three very involved courses (and one which isn't too bad, more on that later...) I originally chose four pretty much knowing that I'd drop one. However, starting the semester and attending them all I wished I could actually stick with them all. That doesn't seem feasible at this point. So now I need to decide which class to drop.

Here's a rundown of the classes I'm registered for:

6.001: Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
This class is nuts. It basically teaches you programming from the ground up, with emphasis on cleansing yourself of bad programming habits. It's all taught using an obscure programming language which is useful pretty much only for teaching purposes and for crufty old LISP hackers. It's a very impractical course, and yet surprisingly helpful, as it really does get you thinking in the right way about how to make good programs as opposed to programs which 'just work'. The big issue: It's a truckload and a half worth of work. At least five hours of class time per week (most other courses are 2-3) and weekly problem sets. Plus the class is gigantic, I can never find a seat in lecture.

7.91j: Introduction to Computational and Systems Biology
Lots of fun. It's team taught by three profs in the bio department, all of which are good at what they do and definitely know their stuff. For me it'll be extraordinarily useful as it'll basically teach me all that bioinformatics stuff that I've been neglecting over the years. Actually, Bioinformatics was taught at Brandeis while I was there, but I refused to take it because I had the professor for an earlier class and he was just intolerable. Anyway, the workload should be easy because it assumes a low level of programming and I think I can manage that.

18.337j: Applied Parallel Computing
This one's scary. Mostly because it's pretty heavy on the linear algebra, physics/engineering side of things which I think is cool but I'm pretty much a lightweight in. If I can keep my head above water, it'll be really useful, pretty much just to get a handle on the kinds of parallel algorithms out there and to get some supervised practice. If I can't keep my head above water, well, I suppose I can drop it... assuming I don't gamble that I can pull my grade up and then lose. I suppose failing a complete elective isn't too bad... I hope... The workload could be relatively high, depending on how easy the assignments are. There's a final project which lasts half the semester which, if I play my cards right, shouldn't be too crazy.

7.76: Topics in Protein Biochemistry
This is a literature course. It's the one I mentioned above which isn't too involved. Basically it meets once a week, we have little assignments for it just to keep us reading the papers. It'll take a lot of reading but it shouldn't be too stressful. The really cool thing I think about this class is that unlike all the others, this one actually trains you to read papers critically like a scientist would. Part of my problem, I recognize, is that when I read papers, I tend to accept uncritically what the author says, unless I'm sure that it's wrong. This is a bad idea! Many times the author is wrong and you're right. I just need to get more out of the habit of just trusting what the author says. Hopefully this class will help on that.

By the way, maybe you've noticed my focus on workload... that's because I want to keep in mind the unmentioned class - my rotations. It's pretty much a given that any time I'm not in class, but during normal daily hours, I'll be in lab. This is very important - because a high-pressure work environment is a lot closer to what I'll be seeing or what will be expected of me. The pressure's got to come from me, because my advisor won't be breathing down my neck. So I have to resist the temptation to run home and work on my homework, even if I've got so much of it that that's all I'm thinking about doing. I need to have definite times when I can work in lab, uninterrupted and productively.

So you're all still in suspense about what class I want to drop. Well, here goes... I think it's time to get rid of 6.001. It's kind of sad, really. The programmer in me had really wanted to take that class. But I realized that I really am training to be a scientist, and foremost on my mind should be that training. I really do pick up computer training naturally. I've taught myself many of the 'good' programming practices that they would teach me in that class anyway. What's far more important, and something which I have to work on, is the intellectual discipline necessary to be a good scientist. In order to do that, I can't be distracted too much by crazy unrelated programming problems.

I'm pretty sure that this decision makes the most sense. I think I'll skip my 6.001 section meeting tomorrow... they'd just be going over Scheme particulars anyway. If you all have suggestions, let me know. I appreciate what you think.

Posted by kgutwin at 11:19 PM | TrackBack

February 02, 2005

Fun in Rotations

Today I got to meet with my first rotation professor. We spent a while talking about basic stuff about the lab, then went into the projects that I'll be doing. It sounds like a lot of fun, mostly because I get to do both aspects - the computer stuff as well as the wet lab stuff.

I have virtually no significant wet lab experience. This means that although I know pretty much all the same theory as any normal biochemist, I couldn't tell you a thing about how exactly to go about doing it. The extent to my experience is essentially that I know how to measure stuff, I know how to mix stuff, and I know what much of the basic lab equipment is and how it works. Beyond that -- how much stuff to mix, what exactly to mix, and why you're mixing it... I have no idea. So, for the wet lab component to my rotation, I'm basically going to be doing whatever the technician in the lab tells me to do. For most students, this would be a real pain, but for me it will be immensely useful because finally I get to learn something about protein expression, constructs, cloning vectors, PCR, all that good stuff. Plus it seems like I'll get to do some fun chemistry, too. Maybe if I get to learn some techniques in this rotation I can be a little more independent in the next one... but I'm not counting on it.

The computer stuff is going to be pretty much completely independent, though. It'll be a new area for me - statistical potentials, a more statistics-based approach to calculating interaction energies than straight physical models. There I get to play around with a bunch of code, maybe write some of my own, and hopefully make a useful contribution to some ongoing projects in the lab. We'll see how it goes... I'm going to need to read a few papers for that and this blogging is keeping me from doing that ;)

All in all, sounds like it should be a fun experience. The lab seems really friendly and already a few people there know me. It's small enough for me to feel comfortable but big enough to know that there's probably someone who can help you out if you get stuck. Plus the professor is ready to help fairly often and is always interested in what's going on.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 01, 2005

Special Report: Iraq Insurgents Moving to Take Toy Soldiers Hostage

CNN.com - So-called U.S. hostage appears to be toy - Feb 1, 2005

FALLUJAH, Iraq (AP) -- Reports are now surfacing that the organized insurgency operating in certain portions of Iraq have shifted from taking real soldiers hostage to taking toy soldiers hostage.

"I heard a lot of yelling, and what sounded like firecrackers," said Ahmed Billah, owner and manager of Toys R' Us in downtown Fallujah. "Then a bunch of guys wearing camoflage and black face masks burst in, and ran to the action figures section. They were waving what appeared to be guns, but I could still see the orange plugs in the muzzle meaning they were toy guns. They grabbed all of the Army action figures they could hold... GI Joe, Marine Mike, and Special Ops Cody. They were dropping boxes as they ran out. They set off the anti-shoplifting alarm but nobody moved. I guess they all thought they were crazy or something."

Sources close to the insurgency movement report that the price for taking real soldiers hostage is becoming too high, and the danger posed by real rifles as opposed to cap guns is enough to scare off most insurgents now. Additionally, some of the insurgents' mothers have been noticing bruises and lost limbs, leading to grounding of the the insurgents without telephone privileges.

Fallujah police responded immediately to the scene of the hostage taking, but were left without leads until an anonymous tip lead them to the website of the Al Mujahedeen Brigade, a notorious band with links to several RC-car bombing attacks, wedgie raids and toy-beheadings. There they found a picture of one Special Ops Cody doll named John Adams positioned against a black banner reading "God is great, there is no God but Allah," with Adams' own rifle pointed at his head.

US military personnel have refused comment so far, but AP military analyists report that while it appears Adams is in grave danger, it is unlikely that the response from US special forces will be significant.

"It's a doll, for crying out loud! Why would anyone do a raid on a twelve-year-old's house to rescue a doll?" said a prominent military analyist who refused to be named.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:11 PM | TrackBack

Thoughts about my Parallel Computing class

The prof lost his voice! I hope he doesn't sound that squeaky on a regular basis. He also seems very distracted in his speaking style, something which really irritated me during the class. I don't know exactly why I felt impatient... it's not like I've got a whole lot to do, but he kept saying the same things over and over - literally, he told us 5 or 6 times that the consent forms we were filling out for some study were optional, not mandatory, he would never know, it would never affect our grade, etc., etc., etc... I hope his next lectures are clearer.

The class seems very linear algebra heavy. I'm a little worried about that, because I've actually never taken linear algebra. I'd like to pick up what I need as I go along, but I may find that the learning curve is tooo steep. Well, we'll see how it goes. I don't need this class - it's purely an interest, just so that I can have some background on parallel computing for when these problems will become more important.

It's also handy because it meets directly after my Computational Bio class, in the exact same room. It's a one-seat class experience.

Posted by kgutwin at 04:27 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 31, 2005

Magic Smoke

So maybe I mentioned earlier that my computer wasn't working. Well, let's start from the top. First of all, remember that while I often talk about "my computer" as if I only own one, the phrase can refer to any one of my three active computers (and several more waiting in the wings if need be) -- or it can refer to the complex arrangement created by the ensemble.

This time it referred to one in particular: trumpet.gutwin.org, which rests comfortably under my desk and provides several helpful features which I use on a regular basis. It handles my webcam - maybe you've noticed the lack of a valid webcam image on my blog for the past few days - as well as has connections to my speakers, printer, CD burner... it has way more storage than my laptop and a DVD drive to boot. Never mind that it doesn't have a monitor. It still does everything I need it to do.

Until last Friday morning, that is.

As you know, Becca was over for the week, and I had noticed earlier in the day that it was making funny noises from one of its fans. No biggie, I thought, I'd just shut it down for the night, just so that the noise isn't too disturbing while we're asleep. Well, come the next morning, I go to turn it on and nothing happens. No beeps, no clicks, not even the sound of a fan turning. At that point I couldn't do much to tinker with it because I had just gotten out of the shower and anyway, we had a full day ahead of us. I left it off, but very confused, because most of the time computers don't just refuse to do anything. Usually they at least turn a fan on or make some beeps or something. Besides, I hadn't done anything more significant to it than send it a normal shutdown command.

Finally, this afternoon, I got the chance to take it apart and look into it. It was clear to start with the power supply, since not even the PSU fan was turning, which either meant that the PSU was dead or that something in the motherboard wasn't sending the power-on signal to the PSU. (You hope it isn't the latter, since that means a mobo replacement - expensive!) Fortunately, though, I didn't get any signal from the power-on lead, meaning something in the PSU was b0rked.

After opening the PSU case (I laugh at your miserable excuse for a warranty! ha ha ha ha!) I quickly noticed the problem - a blown fuse. Now, kids, here's a helpful tip about fuses. They're designed to protect YOU in the case of a device malfunction. Don't just go replacing fuses willy-nilly! When a fuse blows, there can be one of several reasons why. First is that the device is broken in some way. In this case, replacing the fuse will only get you another dead fuse, if you're lucky... otherwise, especially if you put in a higher-rated fuse, you can get loud snapping noises and pretty blue sparks. Other reasons for blown fuses can include momentary power surges, temporary (and repairable) short circuits from another downstream device, or even premature fuse failure. So far, the only other fuse I've had to replace has been one in my guitar amp, with no obvious problems.

I banked on one of the latter problems, knowing that even if it was a problem with the PSU itself, my dad has an extra one he's willing to send me. Radio shack had a 4-pack (why don't they sell them in single shots? I'm never going to need another one of these fuses again!) for $2.49. Picked up some groceries at TJ's, and back home to replace the fuse. Snip, snap, new fuse goes in, and put the case back on the PSU just in case... don't want to be sticking your fingers in there when there's live voltage present (or even when there isn't, the caps can still store enough to getcha).

I knew that it probably wasn't a good idea to plug this thing into my computer before I gave it a good bench test, just in case something was still a miss. So I got my meter in hand, and plugged it in... and I distinctly remember thinking something was amiss for a few milliseconds before I heard a loud SNAP, saw a bright flash and a little tuft of smoke waft out of the cooling vents. Nothing happened after that, but I still hopped around a bit to make sure it was all unplugged and everything was ok.

Well, lose lose, that's that. Now I have one very dead power supply and one computer which at least awaits a new PSU, if there isn't any damage done by the old one when it died :-/ So the webcam, and my tunes, and my printer will have to wait until my dad or UPS can swing by and drop off a new power supply.

By the way, a cursory post-mortem on the dead PSU doesn't show any obvious component explosage. Something's dead, I'm sure, but I would have to take it all the way apart to figure out exactly what... something which I'm not too keen on doing. Oh well. It's not important anyway.

Posted by kgutwin at 06:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 30, 2005

Distracting Myself

I find that one of the things that I'm really good at -- or that I really enjoy, maybe I'm not so good at it -- is finding out information. Searching, collating, verifying, specific things about a subject which interests me (or interests you, if you need me to find something out for you). When Becca was trying to make it back here from Palm Beach last weekend, I was constantly online, checking weather reports, airport closures, flight cancellations, train reservations... even driving distances and directions, since they mentioned thinking of to rent a car :) I would find out a whole bunch of stuff, and send off a text message or two to keep her posted as things went along - and she told me that despite her being in the thick of things, I was far better informed, sitting here at my desk!

Even when I'm not trying to help someone, I still keep track of lots of random bits of information. I regularly read online news sites, from the techy to the traditional, occasionally even the out-of-the-way. It's just something that makes me feel good, to feel like I have some perspective on what's going on.

But today feels a little different. I haven't been able to tear myself away from the computer. It's now quarter to eleven, and I'm making a firm promise with myself to finish cleaning up and go to bed -- after probably spending about ten hours straight online.

What have I been doing? Well, honestly, it seems to mostly revolve around Jordan. Heh. Here's something which I have absolutely no control over, and yet I feel like it is imperative that I collect as much information as I can about the region, the culture, Becca's program, where she is and what she is doing... if we weren't in a relationship this would definitely be considered stalking :-D And maybe it still is! Isn't it a little unhealthy to spend so much time collecting so much information which mostly turns out to be useless? After all, my greatest ideas about what's going on there will ultimately come from her. I will treasure her stories much more than any other random tourist site out there.

I know that some of the things I found really did comfort me. I found a set of pictures of the hotel where she's staying. I found some other pictures which appeared to be of a few participants from the program that happened maybe a few semesters ago. Ummm, I found pictures of the world's tallest freestanding flagpole in Amman? Ok, that one's just weird. I tried figuring out where the hotel is located, but online maps are kinda iffy.

The last thing I found, though, was very striking. It happened while I was searching for info on her program (ciee in jordan). I found a page which had a mailing address identical to Rebecca's. It turned out to be on a website of a girl who was doing the full year program, who had started last semester and who was going to be staying through with the Spring participants. The website had pictures... lots of pictures of her travels and her program and her host family! And it had a blog, with articles going back as far as August about her experiences.

To me it was very strange indeed, because it felt like a mirage... you know, where desert travelers are searching for water and think they see it, but it's just an illusion? Here I am, thirsting for knowledge about something, anything of what she's going through... and here is someone who I can believe has already experienced all of it already! It's like looking into the future, but an illusory future, because it doesn't satisfy, it isn't the real thing, it isn't my Becca with her unique hopes and dreams and adventures. It's just some random girl whom I've never met and will never meet, and who may turn out to be everything or nothing like the girl whom I care so much about.

I'm signing off now. I probably won't be able to avoid checking this other girl's blog at least a few more times to see if she's had any experiences, anything which Becca might have been a part of. But I know my heart won't rest until I know that Becca's safe, sound and having a good time. I just have to keep it from interfering with the stuff that I have to do (like fix my computer!)

Posted by kgutwin at 10:34 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

The Fit Tend to Fidget

The New York Times > Health > The Fit Tend to Fidget, and Biology May Be Why, a Study Says

Here's something really interesting! They say that some people burn up to 350 calories per day just by fidgeting. That could translate into 30-40 lbs of weight gain per year.

I know that I'm really fidgety. I can't ever sit still. I'm always wiggling, my leg is bouncing up and down, and if I'm thinking about something I'm holding a little desk toy and always moving it around. I also feel like I can eat anything that I want and never seriously gain weight. I could probably gorge myself and gain a few pounds here and there, but overall, I seem to be doing fine. And I don't ever work out or exercise significantly.

They suggest, as a consequence of these results, that overweight people simply fidget more. I personally don't think that'll be too easy... I know that my fidgeting is nearly always subconscious, and if I had to think about it constantly I probably wouldn't do it (or would get tired of it really quick.) One really really interesting idea I saw in the article was that one of the doctors involved in the study basically put his computer over a treadmill! Walking at a speed of 0.7 mph - think 1 foot per second - you can imagine, if you can get used to it, how many calories you would burn. Come to think of it, I'm surprised there aren't more desks of this sort. The walking action, especially if it is so slow, shouldn't disturb your work.

What do you think? How fidgety and how fit do you consider yourself? Would you want a slow treadmill desk?

Posted by kgutwin at 01:34 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

January 29, 2005

And so the adventures begin...

She's off... having left Boston at just about ten after eight this evening. I got the chance to take her to the airport, a last small meal together (sandwich and a smoothie) and smile as she went through security.

It's a very funny feeling. I'm excited for her -- I really am. But it's hard to watch her go. We're so close... we care so much about each other, are so sweet to each other...

I honestly don't know when I'll hear from her next. I'm sure she'll get in touch as soon as she can... but if it takes two weeks like it took my sister, to get in touch with anybody - well, I'll manage, but it will not be easy. Maybe she'll call me, or her mom, when she lands. Maybe she'll be able to get on the computer soon after she arrives and will send email (or post to her blog, yesss) but I'm not keeping my hopes too far up.

I miss her. I know she'll come back soon and we'll have an amazing summer. But after going from so close to so far in such a short time, well, it hurts.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:06 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack

January 22, 2005

Political Correction

Don't Worry Your Pretty Little Head - The pseudo-feminist show trial of Larry Summers. By William Saletan

I'll start off by saying that I was referred to this article through a link from a friend, under the title of "this is why I think feminism is stupid..." I might also add that this particular friend is a woman, and one whom I highly respect.

This article describes the perspective from "the other side of the tracks", so to speak. What I mean by that is that it analyzes critically the statements made by both sides of this trial, and attempts in some way to defend the statements made by Summers. This is in contrast to many of the much more emotionally charged reports, such as walking out on his speech and the demand for apology. I appreciate very much the attempt to defuse some of the rhetoric, and once this is done, something striking appears.

First, the article brings in several scientific references highlighting the difference between the sexes. Of course, as a scientist, I appreciate and understand these arguments. Now, unfortunately for Mr. Saletan, the conclusions he draws are not to be considered as scientifically rigorous. Despite the 1% sequence difference between male and female (compared to 0.1% or less between black and white) this does not prove a presence or lack of innate ability on either side. Similarly, the differences in activity levels of various genes or gross physical differences between the brains of male vs. female does not scientifically show that ability, comprehension or even intelligence is different. Rather, what these studies represent to me is the scientific demonstration of what we already know; that is, that males are different than females.

Not even the most hard-core in-your-face feminist would disagree with the scientific fact that men tend to be physically stronger than women. We've all grown up with it -- it's the reason why men and women compete on separate but equal playing fields in sports. My sister would like to believe that she's the best rower in the world, but even she understands that I can beat her in arm wrestling despite her constant training and my constant, uh, lack of training. So why, then, is it so much harder for the concept to arise that men and women have different intellectual strengths?

Of course, we can't neglect what history has given us: a consistent and demonstrated discrimination by a male hegemony on qualified and valuable female intellectuals. The glass ceiling has existed, does exist now, and without conscious and protracted effort to reverse the trend, will continue to exist. For this I am sorry. As an American white Christian upper-middle-class intellectual male (wow, am I playing Politically Correct bingo? I must have hit the jackpot!) I value highly the contributions that women have made to my world. In my profession, not only was the best biochemistry class I ever took taught by a woman, but my future Ph.D advisor (and fulcrum of my future scientific career) could easily be a woman. I see no significant gender discrepancy in the professional work done by either my professors or my classmates. And in other aspects of my world, the list goes on and on... my sisters, my mother, my friends and my dear Becca - they all have affected me in deep, meaningful and positive ways, in ways that no other male in my life could have.

And that, right there, is what we really need to focus on. For all the hemming and hawing, what the debate really comes down to is this: What strengths and weaknesses do we have? Now, part of my philosophy is to always challenge what you percieve to be your 'weakness', because just like a weak muscle gets stronger with effort and pain, so do other aspects of your life. But, those strengths or weaknesses must be identified and embraced first. Otherwise, to use another sports analogy, without knowing how much weight you can lift before you actually lift, you'll injure yourself. What I'm trying to highlight is that gender-wise, just as individual-wise, people can have different strengths and weaknesses, in any aspect - including math and science.

For all this debate entails, we must pay mind to a few things. First, we can't sideline the contributions that women have made already. Second, we must not ever create the impression that because a young girl feels pressure to start a family instead of a career, that this is positive or constructive pressure. I firmly believe that everybody should have as much hope to make a difference in this world as possible. To deny this hope to someone by 'encouraging' or pressuring is irresponsible. Summers has at least framed his apology in these terms - apologizing for sending "an unintended signal of discouragement to talented girls and women." But was his statement truly discouraging? After all, I have not resigned myself to a life of incarceration simply by understanding the fact that males are significantly overrepresented in prison populations.

I honestly couldn't say whether this is a discouraging debate or not. After all, I do win the political correct bingo, so of course I can't understand what a true minority experiences. (Never mind that I spent four years as a member of a religious minority - being Christian at Brandeis...) I think that Summers did a brave thing, though, by being willing to state an opinion which is unpopular, politically incorrect but potentially true.

What would it gain us to be truly equal? Can we have a gender-neutral society which also recognizes that women are different from men?

Posted by kgutwin at 05:46 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Laundry, laundry...

Of course, I had to wait until the blizzard started before I decided to do my laundry... I looked outside, saw the first flakes of snow fall, and thought, "Oh, now must be a great time to do laundry!" Never mind that it was a perfectly fine day right up until 4:00 PM.

All joking aside, I'm looking forward to this blizzard, and I suppose laundry can be done in any weather. It's not like I've got to go far or anything.

Posted by kgutwin at 04:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 21, 2005

Green States vs. Purple States

Have I gone colorblind? No, I'm just looking at a map colored in a nontraditional sense...

It's a pretty hefty PDF, so I'll describe it if you don't want to download it. This is a map of the world, published by Freedom House, who is (according to their website)

...a non-profit, nonpartisan organization, a clear voice for democracy and freedom around the world. Through a vast array of international programs and publications, Freedom House is working to advance the remarkable worldwide expansion of political and economic freedom.

The map, ostensibly, shows the distribution of Freedom around the world. Not surprisingly, North America (hey, even Mexico!) and Western Europe are colored green - the color of freedom, apparently. Non-free countries, like Haiti, Iraq (heh) and China are colored purple. They graciously allowed a yellow Partly Free category, whose esteemed members include Russia, Morocco and Jordan.

To be honest, the conclusions summarized on this map, for the most part, should not be a surprise. For example, it does not surprise me that Haiti earned the Not Free category while the Dominican Republic was Free. Neither does it surprise me terribly that they classified Jordan as a Partly Free country; while Jordan is generally considered a safe haven for Westerners in the Middle East and the rule of law generally applies, there are certain cases where political rights or civil liberties are restricted.

I'm not going to spend too much more time yammering about my conclusions from this map; I'll let you think about it. But the questions I find important when thinking about this are:
- How West- or US-centric is this evaluation?
- Would it be good for every country in the world to share our version of Freedom? Or are culture and politics so inextricably intertwined that we could not see Freedom spread throughout the globe without a wholesale homogenization of culture?

Posted by kgutwin at 07:11 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

January 19, 2005

Recipes!

So I've invented a new use for this blog...

I love to cook -- most of the time. Sometimes, though, I'm just tired, or worn out, or for whatever reason I don't feel like it. And sometimes, I might be enthusiastic, but I can't think of anything to make. Most of the time, the only thing I can think of making is what I've made the past few days... not very exciting or new.

Recipes are great for solving the boredom problem, but there's two problems. The first is that you need to actually get a good recipe. I have the Joy of Cooking, which is a great reference if you need to know how to make something in particular, but it's absolutely impractical for anything on a daily basis. I have a new cookbook given to me by my dad, which is pretty helpful - I've already made some things from it - but it obviously isn't the end of what I want to make. I get recipes for various things from time to time, from my grandma or my dad or just random ones that I make up... but they're usually on loose paper, which is just begging to get lost. The second problem is that once you have a recipe you want to make, you actually have to have the ingredients :) which isn't always easy because I tend not to keep my kitchen too stocked.

So one idea is to post recipes to my blog! This way, a few things get taken care of. First, I won't lose the recipes (hopefully :) Second, I can look at the recipe list anytime, from anywhere, so maybe if I get hungry during the day I can figure out what I'll want to make that night and go pick up what I need.

Feel free to comment on my recipes, give suggestions or just say that they sound gross...

Posted by kgutwin at 10:16 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 17, 2005

A bright future?

A long time ago - probably at the point where I was deciding what grad school to attend - I had a simple, yet timely thought:

"The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!"

Kinda catchy... anyway, it was a time in my life where I was worry-free and enjoying every moment of it. I was mere months away from graduating Brandeis, I had my pick of the top graduate schools, and I was having the time of my life with my lovely girlfriend :)

Now, it's hard to keep that same mentality. I'm anxious about my car (why? because I just spent $500 on what is to me a personal luxury and which might not have even solved the problem...), I can't seem to stop thinking about all the unknowns about next semester, both with Becca gone and my upcoming rotations, and on top of this there's things which I know ought to get done but I can't seem to get myself to do them. Instead I spend hours at my computer scratching through news site after news site, just in a hope to be entertained and to drown my worries away.

I guess it's time for me to be a real adult, and take responsibility for my future. Right now, I'm feeling a desire to just hide under a rock until the scary things go past. But the truth is that the scary things never will go away, or if they do they are only replaced by other scary things. And I can't hope that some person will come along and save the day. I guess it'll just have to be me to get it done.

But right now, I'm not strong enough.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Is it fixed?

Oh man, I hope so, $536.81 later...

I got up bright and early this morning and called the garage. The guy sounded friendly and was willing to take a look at it today, so I drove it over, apprehensive the whole time about my touchy brakes. It wasn't a tough place to find, and I left it, talked to the guy about the situation, and he said he'd spend some time on it. I managed to get back by taking a bus to Coolidge Corner, where the Trader Joe's is. I bought a few groceries that I've been needing for a little while, and headed home... relaxed that finally someone was going to look at it and it was going to get taken care of.

After a while of sitting around at home, I got a call from the guy saying that he found the problem... and it needed a new master cylinder and a new brake pressure regulator. I had no idea that brakes even had a pressure regulator :) but despite the $500 cost, I decided to have it done. After all, without brakes, this car's pretty worthless to me. I also mentioned to him my little alternator problem, and he said that he'd take the alternator out for me, and put in the new one if I could get this one returned! He was definitely helpful and accommodating.

I got a call from him a little while later saying that he got the alternator out and I could come by to get it. This time I took the B line and walked... not too far of a walk but a little confusing. Got the alternator and then had to walk a bit more to pick up the 70 bus which would take me to Waltham. No problems there... got to Waltham, and walked a bit more to the parts store. I found the guy who said he'd do the exchange, and while he admonished me for losing my original purchase invoice, he gave me the new one. Success! I treated myself to a bit of pizza for lunch at the restaurant across the street. Then it was a walk back to the bus stop, another bus ride back to Allston, and more walking back to the garage. Might I mention that this alternator is 15-20 lbs? My arms are still tired!

When I got back to the garage they had finished with most of their brake work and I decided to just wait for them to finish with the alternator so that I could drive the car home. I read the Boston Globe, watched them put my car up and down... finally it was done. I paid and left, so very excited that it was finally fixed! No more worrying about brake troubles.

And the car braked like a dream. For a little while. Then I started to get a little nervous again. Now, I can't prove anything yet... and maybe it's just things getting settled or me being overly sensitive. But I thought I felt the pedal descend again at a stoplight, just a touch.

We'll see. For now, I'll treat it as if it's fixed, and hope that I don't have to bring it back in. I'm pretty sure that at this point, there's really no more super-expensive parts to replace, so I can't imagine spending even MORE money...

By the way, the work on the alternator only cost $37. So at least there's something to smile about there.

Posted by kgutwin at 04:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 15, 2005

Bush's Legacy?

Scotsman.com News - International - Bush looks to history books with slaughter of sacred cows

Ok, so maybe I should have made a promise to myself before I started this blog mania to avoid political topics. This weblog is not in the "Blogosphere", nor will it expound or pontificate or complain like so many other politically-oriented (and as we saw in the last election, completely ineffective) blogs. So don't take this the wrong way - I'm not falling into such a trap. Rather, I like to take a much more hands-off approach to the political scene. I want to know what and why people think much more than I would like to tell them what I think. I'll tell you what I think if you really want me to, but unless you're really convincing (aka "an offer I can't refuse") I won't go knocking on doors.

So I'm reading this article, and it seems to echo what I've seen before. President Bush seems to have a somewhat megalomaniacal thread to him. I say this because he seems to be determined to make an impact on the world, to be 'known for something great'. I imagine that in his mind, nothing could be better than for his name to go down in history along with the other 'great' presidents. His plans for sweeping reforms in immigration, social security, tort reform and the tax code are recognized by everybody as ambitious; of course, the pundits say too ambitious.

Is there anything wrong with a little megalomania in our presidents? After all, much the same could potentially be said about Kerry, Dean, Clinton, Bush... to varying degrees, of course. After all, in order to have the passion and drive to seek after the highest public office in the land, you've got to have concrete and ambitious goals. Nobody would elect someone who runs on the platform of 'four more years of the same.' Or is that true? I think I remember reading about some president in the 20th century who had such a platform... Anyway, I think the difference comes in recognizing one's own strengths and weaknesses. Megalomania (in my understanding, at least) is characterized not so much as a drive to be successful, but rather as a lack of perspective towards one's peers. The megalomaniac has no peers; he is unmatched, in history or in the present. This lack of perspective, of course, would tend to make one ineffective in the grand scheme -- both through ignoring and therefore repeating the mistakes made in history, and also through alienation of one's peers.

How much, therefore, does Bush fit this picture? We've already seen both aspects of such a loss of perspective. By assuming that, under similar circumstances, Bush could lead the Iraq war much better than the Vietnam war, we've become mired in a conflict we will never successfully complete. Also, by ignoring the recommendations of his world peers, Bush has alienated himself - and us by proxy - from the world community. Do these observations mean Bush is a certifiable megalomaniac? Well, my musings have neither proven necessity nor sufficiency with respect to the above observations. So we can only guess, and consider it supporting evidence.

Now that Bush has gained a second term, though, he seems to be pointing his focus much more towards domestic issues. Most pundits have agreed that Bush realizes his legacy, if it were to end now, would consist solely of terrorism and war; while those subjects may be dreamy for a Texas Cowboy, they're not what makes a president Great. Therefore, most agree that we'll see drastic changes in domestic issues, concomitant with the gains the Republicans have made in the Legislature. While Bush's first term seems to only have excited the Neocons and people with more guns than brains, his second term is making nearly every Republican excited. Here, finally, the chance to get something done!

So the last question is, will the reforms that do get done be a blessing or a curse to the nation? I don't know. Given that these are contentious issues, I get the sense that if I were to express an opinion on such matters, I would guarantee 50% of my blog readers would disagree with me. And since don't we all just want to get along, I'll leave the mudfestdiscussion to the comments :) Whatever the effect on the nation, however, I'm sure it'll be done with gusto and passion. Even if it is running headfirst into a brick wall.

Posted by kgutwin at 10:28 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

Alternator story, continued

So today was going to be the big day...

Did I mention I went to the hardware store the other day and bought a set of hex keys? I figured that I might be able to do it with the keys, as long as the bolt turned reasonably well. Well, anyway, this morning I woke up bright and early and headed out to do the job. Before I left I checked on a few things - including finding the location of a Home Depot in Waltham which might have the hex bits I was looking for. My plan was to go out to my car and test the hex keys I got to see if I could get it to turn. If I could turn it, I would tighten it back up, drive to Brandeis and do the work. If I couldn't, then I would see if I could buy that set of hex bits at Home Depot.

Surprise surprise, the hex key didn't work. I even tried grabbing it with pliers, but it was too tough. So it was off to Home Depot for me... driving through traffic with treacherous brakes. After a somewhat harrowing drive that included the have-to-stop-at-every-light phenomenon in Waltham, I made it to Home Depot. And they did have the hex bits! For cheaper than I would have gotten them at Sears. Now it was back to Brandeis to see if I could get it done.

You're waiting in suspense, right? Well.... it didn't work. I ended up stripping the inside part of the bolt. Those hex socket bolts are the easiest things to strip, and this bolt would much rather have its whole inside chewed up than turn. I tried everything I could, but since I don't have the right resources at my disposal, it was pretty clear that this was a job for a professional.

So now I've got to take it to the garage. I have to do so anyway, to get this brake thing fixed (by the way, it's awfully tough to parallel park on a busy street with the handbrake...) But one thing's for sure - the next trip this car makes is to the garage.

By the way, I'm going to try taking it to Boston Automotive - they specialize in VW and Audi and seem to be a nice shop.

Posted by kgutwin at 12:01 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 13, 2005

Sleepy Doc...

CNN.com - Study: Sleepy docs a liability for hospitals - Jan 13, 2005

I actually got to read this story - Matthew gets the New England Journal of Medicine and I glanced through the issue before he got home.

It's kind of scary - they basically show that the chances of a hospital intern who has just gotten off an extended shift having an automobile accident is roughly comparable to the odds of a legally drunk driver having a similar accident. This is a two-fold increase from interns who have just completed a normal shift.

Apparently (I'm not in medical school, so this should be confirmed) the whole business of having extended shifts is a holdover from the days when doctors lived as residents at a hospital (ahh, so that's where the term 'residency' comes from!) so that they could observe patients on a consistant basis. But 60 years ago, I could imagine that the thought of staying awake for 30+ hours would have been preposterous to those doctors. Why do we put our doctors through this obviously detrimental process? Is it simply a cost-cutting measure? I've heard other things, too, like the fact that doctors (who have themselves endured such brutality) feel that they made it through, and therefore the young upstarts ought to as well. Unfortunately, it's those same old-boy doctors who make the policies.

I'm glad I'm not a medical student. What foolishness. And you can guarantee that if I, for some bizarre reason, was actually a med student, I would not put up with this kind of stuff. Losing sleep is not foreign to me (see last night for example) but it's always done in a reasonable manner -- and I don't have the lives of vulnerable patients in my hands.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:51 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Song of the day

Arrival of the Guests - Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev

Pay attention to Juliet's theme... does it grab you like it grabs me? I can't think of a more beautiful and lovely theme.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:30 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

January 12, 2005

"Experts in the Field"

I had a strange thought today, during one of my IAP lectures.

The professor was talking about his advising philosophy. Now, as an aside, I should say that the way we have organized these lectures is that a given professor comes, gives a roughly 45 minute speech, and then questions are asked. We have written a list of "generic" questions on the board -- questions we ask everybody, things like "How many students are you taking?" and "Average time to degree?" But the most interesting question, I find, is the last one - "What is your advising philosophy?" The professors love that one, because after a bunch of dry, rote questions about their lab, they get the chance to expound on their teaching philosophy. Remember that professors, deep down inside, just want to instill wisdom, and love to take any chance to explain how that process is done.

Anyway, this particular guy was yammering on about how he wants to train students to be experts in their field, so that they can really have a base of knowledge that sets them apart and makes them influential. But I got to thinking... what does it really mean if you say you're an Expert? I realized that at some point, I may acquire some knowledge, either by synthesis or discovery, that very few people in the world currently appreciate or share.

Now, maybe that doesn't seem very significant to you. But it hit me pretty hard -- here, before me, was the chance to be incredibly unique. Think about it - "very few people in the world" - that means in the World world! See, maybe it's just my subconscious talking, but I always feel like my individuality isn't really that individual. There's got to be someone else out there who has most of my same interests, or thinks somewhat like I do, or something like that. I mean, I tend to think that my love of winter and snow is 'unique', but there's got to be bunches of folks out there who appreciate it just like I do.

I got to thinking that science is really the most straightforward track to becoming truly unique. Research institutions like mine do it on a daily basis. If I am persistent enough, sly, tricksy and brilliant enough, I'll get to that same point myself. Having paper after paper with your name on it, having your own lab or your own foundation, even having a Nobel prize isn't really that unique. After all, there's hundreds of folks out there with Nobel prizes. To be the expert on a particular subject, though - that's something.

Posted by kgutwin at 11:02 PM | Comments (95) | TrackBack

January 11, 2005

Thought of the Day

Here's something you may never have thought of before...

Have you ever noticed how you get into a nearly immutable routine (I suppose like so many other things) with brushing your teeth? Think about it - you've been brushing your teeth every day for most of your life, and if you're anything like me, you've probably done it just about the same way each time. I know I always start on my bottom teeth, outside right side, go around to the left side, do the tops of my bottom teeth, then inside right side and around, then up to my upper left side outside, around and to the bottoms of my upper teeth, then finally around the inside, left to right. You probably have a different routine, but you probably could recite it nearly as easily as I just have.

Today, for some unknown reason, I started in a weird place - I started on my top teeth. It almost felt like I had completely forgotten how to brush my teeth, and I had to force myself to remember to brush my bottom teeth because I was paranoid that I would forget. I pulled it through okay, but I realized that I think it was the first time I've brushed my teeth a different way.

We really are creatures of habit. It's so bizarre.

Posted by kgutwin at 01:47 AM | Comments (35) | TrackBack

January 10, 2005

Vacation Ideas

Traveling on your stomach - Jan. 10, 2005

Mmmmmmmmm.... I couldn't think of a better idea for an arranged tour. Of course, if I'm visiting such exotic locations, I'd probably also love to get away from food for a little while and still see the areas... but I'm sure I could manage.

Oh yeah - how about not until I'm rich. It's a bit, uh, pricy.

Posted by kgutwin at 09:32 PM | Comments (97) | TrackBack

The challenge has been met

My journey was fraught with peril, difficulty and tragedy... but I perservered, and I overcame. To the victor go the spoils :)

Posted by kgutwin at 07:14 PM | Comments (77) | TrackBack

January 09, 2005

Why the name?

What's in a name?

I think that choosing blog names is a pretty strange situation. Some people are pretty bland about their names - utilitarian, straightforward, no guessing as to where or why. Other people have a lot more fun with their blog name, sometimes to the point where one wonders exactly what plane of consciousness that person was riding when they made their selection. (Well, yes, I suppose I was somewhat responsible for that name. I still like it, even though most people find it strange :) Still others choose hip, classy names, and others name theirs after their pet chihuahua...

When I was thinking of a name, I wanted something which was unique to myself. I didn't feel like "Karl's Blog" really cut it. I finally settled on Snow and Sky because to me, it epitomizes my favorite environment -- a field of fresh fallen snow on a cool winter's day, with a wide open sky above and a few puffy clouds. I don't know too many other people who think in those ways. Most tend to complain about the chill, or the gray, or the yuck. I always see those nasty things as stepping stones to what I really enjoy - the peacefulness of winter.

Once I settled on a name, the design of the site was easy. The background is made up of pictures of real snowflakes, originally taken by W.A. "Snowflake" Bentley and published in 1931. My dear Becca gave me a book of over 2000, and yes, so far I have not found two identical. (Although I did happen to select two very similar ones when I was taking pictures of the book - that surprised me!) The header bar is based closely on a photograph of an oil painting made by my grandmother, Leona Gutwin, depicting a scene just as I described above. I'm so very glad that I have these wonderful gifts, because I treasure them when I can't treasure Nature itself.

Posted by kgutwin at 06:25 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

This is fun!

So yes, I finally knuckled under.

Why? Because I saw how creative other people were with their little spots on the web, and I figured that it would be fun for me to be creative too.

I honestly harbor no illusion that anybody else out there cares about this. Now, if you're reading, you're at least interested to see what I've got to say... and so I hope I can be a little interesting to you. But don't expect your traditional blog fare here. I'll probably post about whatever random stuff is on my mind at the moment. It could be the sushi erasers I got for Christmas, or some sciencey stuff I learned at school, or crazy things I find online.

I hope you enjoy. I hope I enjoy, too - otherwise it'll sit around, just like millions of other neglected blogs out there. Feel free to bug me if I don't post. I'm always thinking about something but don't always think it out loud.

Posted by kgutwin at 06:11 PM | Comments (110) | TrackBack